Kill The Son

"Kill The Son"
2014

I need to kill the son my mother raised
if I am looking to survive
'Cause you can't be as nice as I'm known to be
And still hope to stay alive
For kindness morphs into a weaker trait
If you're quick to up the dose
And the knives are quick to penetrate your heart
If you allow the wielders close
For most people are liars.
Selfish, ungrateful liars.
Who pick their spots and feign concern
In the hopes of lowered guards
But that's when they stick it in and break it off
To leave you bleeding, picking shards.
And as the fragments pierce your better parts
You've been fucked and left confused
And discarded like some disgusting thing
From which the owner's not amused
But who cares, right?
Everyone is the martyr in their own stories.
A victim of an injustice so grand,
That the gods should take notice
And pull us down off our chosen cross
and heal the stigmata wounds we wear
Like proud tattoos, or hearts we've sown on sleeves
To prove to everyone that we care.
Yet people say that we shouldn't change
And just stay true to who we are
But friend, my blood trail can be followed
To here from anywhere afar
Because the blades protruding from my hopes and dreams
Are getting harder to conceal
And I feel the stabs so deep inside
I'm starting to wonder if they're real
For how can I feel alive and well
If my heart's begun to die
And there's no one here to claim the corpse
Or even give a reason why
So forgive me if my anger's justified
And bubbling up to scorch the surface
Because I suffered this for years
And never questioned if it was worth it
But now I know the answer's no
So I'll say fuck you to those who disagree
And think I'm throwing blankets on the crowd
Just to hide the flaws in me
While they ignore the painful facts
That I have known so well
That I could regurgitate them all
And point out each syllable that fell
But friend, my point in all of this is simple.
Despite the situation being complex.
See, I've grown tired of being righteous
I think in truth, I must stop overlooking sin
So shut your mouth, and clear a path
Give me a little room,
To let this overdue self-destruction,
Finally begin.
Start the countdown, if you please...

The Game We Call A Race

"The Game We Call A Race"
2014

They say the results are in.
And now, there is a different face in place.
Enough votes have signified a win
For the precious victor in the game
They even have the nerve to call a race.
Nothing will change.
A different name on the desk
But the same lack of action in the streets
Thankfully, it will mean an end to the commercials
That follow the same old tired beats
Politician A voted wrongly, every single time.
Politician B is about as crooked as a written dollar sign.
Politician A helps their friends,
Politician B will only do what they can, to provide you with bliss.
Then they show you an image with them and their families.
Standing and smiling in a park,
Maybe underneath some trees
To show you all, they are just like you.
So you will foolishly believe, that when the race is through
They will provide you the quality of life
You're supposed to get after death
But only, now you'll be alive
And won't have to stop your breath.
The promises are grand, when told with tongues of gold.
But campaign accounts were stuffed,
With the kind of riches that you fold.
With no requirement for disclosure,
The ones behind the curtain will never be revealed
Unless there's a case inside the court
That requires the records be unsealed.
But oh well, it doesn't matter.
I have some new device to buy.
And an article to read,
About this celeb who's found another guy.
Or maybe a show that shows realities
That are secretly contrived
Or some kind of public competition show
Where we can vote on who survived
It's all meaningless to me
And in the longest run there'll be
But what on Earth will I ever know?
I only believe what's on TV
So I never notice that in this game we call a race
Both contestants break the rules
They call each other out for sports
As the audience plays the fools
And while they're bearing down the track
We're often too blind to observe
That because of our lack of information, we
Get the officials we deserve
And they will smile and take us to a place
Where grass is a brighter shade of green
But then we'll wake up one day and think aloud,
"This is the same yard I've always seen."
And would you like to know why?
That's because it is.

Needle In The Red

"Needle In The Red"
2014

Acknowledged differences.
Collected and suppressed until they begin to distort.
They become fuel for the emotions.
Moving the needle toward the wrong kind of darkness.
With potent fumes that alter perception for the duration of exposure.
Mouths like motors running.
So busy revving and roaring they don't take time to breathe.
Navigation showing the same old path, with signs, they don't take time to heed.
Carefully selected turns, show others where they should never steer.
Strapped in tightly to their positions,
Adjusting their mirrors to better see their fears.
Reflected.
My, what fools we are.
A few hundred years of tunnel vision, have left the cyclops behind the wheel.
Seeing things in only black or white, while knowing shades of gray are real.
While letting road rage take control, we scream things better left unsaid.
Is there surprise that blood is spilled, when the needle's in the red?
Years from now, our children will wonder who, was really in control of us?
And why people still feel the need to tell a soul, where to sit upon the bus?
Don't they see the demons roaring round the bend,
Or will we be driven off the track?
I guess love and understanding are on the set of keys we lost.
So we just can't unlock the things, we are never getting back.
Sleep well, Eric Garner.
Though the world has failed you twice.
Now we truly know the cost of things,
For which you have paid the dearest price.

Chair For One

"Chair For One"
2014

There were so many things
That I should feel ashamed to tell
She used to think I was a fit for heaven
Now she knows that I'm tailor made for hell
So she can save her crying
When all is said and done
Then we will sit her party down
As the maître d' calls out, "Pity, Chair For One."
'Cause she used to want me badly
Or so she used to say
But when I let her peek behind the glass
She turned to run away
So now I hope she suffers
As each word becomes a blade
That I bury deep in her emotions pure
As you hail the best mistake she's ever made
And I wish I could stab a pretty sunset
Until it bleeds on an ocean's face
So as that tide came rolling in
It'd bear proof she's been replaced
But excuse my sense of humor
She's a pathetic little tart
That should be feeling foolish now
Knowing she'll never reside with my heart
But if I could hear her now
Backed by some noisy violin
I bet she'd pantomime the martyr
Until her Pilate returned again
So she can dance and spin her tales
As I sharpen up my nails
Then I'll put her up for all the world to see
So they can take her picture with their phones
To prove she was crucified,
And driven in to my last faded memory.
As I smile and whisper,
"Good riddance."

The Monster Treading Water

"The Monster Treading Water"
2014

If I were to cross this ocean full of thoughts
Would I find you on the shore
Watching as the waves slowly rose to crash
With their machinations pure
'Cause as I float here hopelessly
I try to think my pleasant thoughts
For the abyss I coast upon
Is the proof of all that negativity has wrought
That is why the tides are black
And thick as petroleum
Knowing that horrors I've hid beneath
Were capped with doubts of holy ones
But I'm nothing without my thoughts
So why do I feel such shame
Since I know I made each conscious choice
To shape the monster I became
With written, long-winded dreams
Claiming I rang the bell inside the towers
Like that misshapen beast of classic lore
Who was left without an ounce of power
Thinking there was one who'd hear the call
And come rushing in to aid
But if they say that love is just a game
Will there ever be a prize for getting played?
But friend, I'm fearing not
Since there is a law that states
That we only get what we attract
Like some form of strong, magnetic plates
With ends that face away
And still draw each other near
"So if you seek a true path to change,
I think all that you must do is clear."
Or at least that is how it goes
For the beautiful and bold
Who believe with all their hearts
Down to the pits of golden souls
But for those of us like me
With dispositions often grim,
It's best to find something to hold your weight
In case you're like this ugly monster here,
Who never learned to swim.

Ramblings Of The Liar

"Ramblings Of The Liar"

There is something missing in all of us... isn't there? 
And since it's easier to live in a perpetual state of denial,
We don't acknowledge this truth.
We look for something to fill the void.
Whether it's the drink or the drugs, shopping or salvation,
We look for something external to fill a void internal.
But not me. You know what I did? I embraced the void. 
I let myself wade out into the darkness and see if I would drown.
And you know what happened? I survived.
But like a white cloth dropped into a vat of ink,
I do bear the proof of my journey. Forever stained.
For it has been said that if you stare long into the abyss,
The abyss also stares back into you.
And as it peered into my eyes, it revealed a truth.
And truth is that we are all liars.
Children wearing the mask of maturity.
Claiming we are happy, when we are anything but.
Most of us have our pasts holding us back like anchors.
But we put on the brave front, and pretend that we are hardened.
So that the future will pull us forward like magnets.
But we are stuck. In a never-ending state of want.
Both weighed and measured.
We want what we cannot have, and ignore the things we can.
I mean, come on,
Isn't it the struggle that makes the water slipping through your hands taste better,
Than the drops in that glass supposedly half-full?
Oh, well. What do I know?
I'm just a liar, after all...
Right?

Animals Walking Upright

"Animals Walking Upright"


Just because we know of the Plieades
And we believe in different deities
That that somehow separates us from the rest
Of the wild creatures crawling,
Sprawling, and swimming about
All while denying the urges of the creatures
Held tightly in the cage beneath our chests
That we tried and truly
Could never, ever live without
'Cause we're just animals walking upright.
Subject to our very whims
As each day fades into a night.
But in places we don't discuss at parties
We hide the darkest of our secrets
And do more than praying on our knees
While our vices outweigh regrets
And we hope that nobody ever sees.
But let's not forget the horrors
We've committed in our minds
Thoughts of murder, lust, and greed
Filled seconds of these complicated times
That we fight to keep living in
Hoping good deeds balance out our lies
And that our lovers never witness
The crazed and raging monsters,
Locked up tight behind our eyes.

All But Done

"All But Done"


I got some bitter news today
Read the words in black and white
And there's nothing left to say
That could make it seem alright
But how was I supposed to know
That you were gonna go
And do the kind of things
That would make them hate you so
Somebody stop the press
The world may need to know
That once you've made it to the top
There's only one place left to go
'Cause the first minute made you hot
But the second made you not
And as the doubt was creeping in
You gave it everything you got
But fast forward just a few
And you're getting off the ride
'Cause fifteen's all but done
And your request for more's denied
You got some bitter news today
Read the words in black and white
They saw you stumble out the club
And took your photograph at night
With the powder on your nose
And your favorite drink in hand
And your underwear exposed
Hugging somebody else's man
Now you're painted as the whore
That loves to party hard
And leaves with the rising sun
And has a blatant disregard
For anything, or anyone
Just as long as you make the news...

The Fastest Way

"The Fastest Way"


I have lived a lifetime in my days
And lived days within my dreams
I've spoken profoundly with my silence
And yet said nothing with my screams
I've known opulence at the cost of thoughts
And succumbed to the collected debt of sleep
I've grasped at memories like grains of sand
Hoping to prolong the time they keep
But all of these truths are pale
When compared to my dark desires
For I long to be inside of you
And provide your favorite of the pyres
But darling, the fastest way to nothing
Is to journey through my eyes
And disregard the bits of truth
Then dive headfirst in the lies
And as in you inhale the aroma
Of the greatest stories ever told
Know that fortune only favors
Those we've all considered bold
So what are you waiting for?

Scars Are Watermarks

"Scars Are Watermarks"


That pins and needles feeling
Has pierced my soul again
But it's nothing like the pain
That I've tried to hide within
For thirty years of loneliness
Have built a home inside my heart
And I'd hoped you were the righteous wind
Come to tear that home apart
Wished to watch as each bitter brick
Finally fell and kissed the ground
To prove that the notion of solitude
Would only help to amplify the sound
Like when that fabled tree in the forest fell
And had nobody there to catch
So there was to be no amazing grace
For me, this fallen sort of wretch
And that is how this life has gone
When the subject shifts to me
And how everyday reminds of you of
How painful precious gifts can be
'Cause I should have spoken up
Before you walked away
But once love has finally bloomed
It's never meant to stay
See, first the water comes rolling in
And helps to sweep you off your feet
But then it leaves and takes everything
Leaving you cold and naked underneath
That's why scars are our watermarks
There to show the world we once were filled
But some sort or form of happiness
Before misery came to see it killed
Loneliness can be described
As a wretched state of mind
But lately it's been a state of mine
And it's in this kind of darker time
That I'm inclined to find
The cold and unforgiving truth
That scars are watermarks
Proof the show the world
That love was drowned inside our hearts.

Tell Me Something

"Tell Me Something, Darling..."


Are you happy where you are?
Or just happy where you're not?
Does everything you have,
Outweigh everything you never got?
And if you're answer's no,
Then I want you to be sure
There's a part of you that knows,
You deserve everything and more
'Cause the light in your eyes is an ember
Dancing on a sweet candle stem
Doing its' best to just survive
Inside a brutal, unforgiving wind
While knowing most people go to church
Believing they have a need to pray
But the answer to all of mine
Is sadly lying down each day
Next to a childish, little boy
Living in the guise of a man
And she truly handles this
In the best fashion that she can
But friend, I don't believe
That we are meant to live
Chained to those who just refuse
To give all that they have to give
So what's wrong with searching
For all that you need
When there's a hole in your heart
That this person won't feed
So, tell me something, darling...
Are you happy where you are?
Or just happy where you're not?
Have all your dreams given way,
To just accepting what you've got?
And if you're answer's no,
Then I want you to be sure
There's a part of you that knows,
You deserve everything and more
And the lesson we have to learn,
Is that there's always truth inside of lies
But yet, the sky still begins to burn
When the sun decides to rise
Whether it wants to or not.

The Marksman?

"The Marksman?"


When you're a little left of center, the target's often missed.
Whether you've thrown darts, or arrows, or even witty lines.
You hit nothing. And so you get nothing.
Or so the story goes. For the sad, mistaken marksman.
The broad side of barns, shine untouched.
Like floating lunar lights.
Knowing that the fool within their range, will never pierce them right.
And now there is irony in the plight.
See? Every time the mark is missed, it stirs a gentle breeze.
Proving the only thing between us, dear, is truly air and opportunity.
But that's nothing new, really.
My quiver's running empty, though.
But I could say that for many things of mine.
Such as my heart. My faith. My patience.
Hell, even my sanity.
Because all I've done with these attempts at winning you,
Was incidentally hit the bullseye on your vanity.
Look!
A grown, inflated ego. Just begging to be burst.
But I have to grit my teeth and bear the weight,
For there's more than tension in my bow, that needs releasing first.

At The Point Of Convergence

"At The Point Of Convergence."


Words are often unspoken.
In light of pain, in light of loss.
In the shadow of desperation.
At the spot marking convergence, for the two roads that cross.
Right or left?
A myriad of possibilities.
When viewed through a quantum mechanical lens.
Things that will be done for eternity collide with things that have not yet begun.
Despite reaching this point in eternity.
And here i stand.
At this point of convergence.
One road leads to the great wide open.
I heard that in a pop song once.
The other?
I'm not exactly sure.
Besides the taunting sign that reads, "obstruction ahead,"
I see no indication of what I suspect to be perilous.
But what if that road leads to you?
If it did, it would be far worth the risk.
But this is life. There are no guarantees.
Hell, does it even matter anymore?
You see the world through rose-colored glasses, babe.
These gorgeous hues and enlightened point of views lay down for you like lovers.
But that tint distorts your view of me.
It's like I was never there at all.
What are the odds?

A Silence Considered Golden

"A Silence Considered Golden."


Silence is considered golden, by those considered poor.
For what was said and said again, should not be stated more.
But when a lack of sound is all you have, does this fact deliver bliss?
Or does it only amplify the painful truth, knowing there's a certain sound you miss?
Something like those three certain words, or the echoes of laughter when it's true.
Things ingrained into your memories, and have now become a part of you.
And yet I fear this state I'm in, is due to words of rage.
That would culminate and overflow, until they rhymed upon a page.
But my gift is just a blessed curse, that helps to drive a wedge between.
Myself and the golden one, who once danced inside my dreams.
Or if you're asking me at this present time, that is how it seems...

Three Cheers For The Masochists

"Three Cheers For The Masochists."


Each of us are masochists, we just have different ways.
Trying to find a little joy in the suffering, so we can make it through the days.
While we fight to ignore that tiny voice, ringing loudly in our brains.
Seeking to mask erosion through weathered storms, we started dancing in the rains.
Each lightning flash and thunder roar, mirrors these mistakes we've made.
While reminding us we're only comfortable, in the respective beds we've made.
But we can call a spade a spade, if you're wishing to be obtuse.
I fight my thoughts at tremendous cost, and nightly wonder what's the use?
Because my gift becomes a curse, when frustration starts to win.
Since i keep standing here to brave the pouring rain, while wishing she would let me in.
Or better yet, come out to join me in despair...

Inscription Addict

There is a burning in my veins
Like my blood is at a boil
Confused, distraught, forgotten.
Such is the state that I'm ins.
Knowing that if you had a name
I would curse it twenty times
While wishing my words were blades
That stabbed you to the rhythm of rhymes.
But that would be cruel.
As cruel as this circus we call a life
With ringleaders that boast of juggling
As if it were likely to impress
Why don't they trapeze without a net
And I'll applaud when they make a mess
Yes! You're a spot! A stain!
A pool of wasted red!
My, that was delightful darling,
It's about time you used your head.
A picture perfect landing,
After acting like a magician waving wands
But the sorry life you'd been leading
Is only worthy of the bronze.
But who am I kidding?
I wouldn't even have a place
At the podium with levels
I'm too busy feeding my demons
Until they grow into devils
So they can sit on my shoulders
Like the weight of the world
And they can point out the whores around me
Masquerading as girls
Who are begging for mates that share half their souls
Yet they still fall for the villains
And let them fill up their holes
But really, who gives a fuck?
I sure no longer do
Hell, now that i think about it
I would lie in the hopes of fucking them too
Make it hard, push it deep, and make sure it's brief
Then I'll just be on my way
Feign some sentiment romantic
To assuage their grief and keep the tears a bit
Since they get so emotional
Over the least little thing
But get excited like children
When it's chocolate you bring
But beneath that sweet exterior
Lies a hate that is sour
And it's becoming more potent
With each passing hour
But make no mistake,
I am not the broken man I was
I am the titan on the shore
Whose emotions churn like waves
And my pen is like the trident
That makes the tide become my slaves
And i used to want to drown you in them.
To suffocate you with a love
That would make it hard to breathe
Now the slightest glimpses of your faces
Have inspired me to seethe.
You're all fucking nothing.
Meaningless to most.
Once everything to me
How fucking pathetic
Could one shallow person be
Don't you dare to speak a word
Before i squeeze your throat to kill the sound
And laugh as you're clutching at your neck
While rolling back and forth, in pain on the ground.
Cause the deception of your perception
Cast a shadow on my point of view.
But I'd rather throw sharpened blades,
If I want to make my one point or two.
Hit or miss, little priss.
Better cover up your parts.
Cause spades can pierce the diamonds,
In possession of weaker hearts.
But my regards to your cards,
It seems you went and played them well.
But I'm laughing while I'm whispering,
"Fuck you," is the only tale I wanna tell.
It sucks to be you. And sucks to be me.
If we find another imbecile,
I'll carve a line through all three.
"Tic, tac, and toe,
tried their best but had go."
Is what the tombstone will read,
After the supposed pastor,
Does his dog and pony show.
But i would rather be the ash, you placed inside a jar.
So if you'd need a line, you wouldn't have to reach as far.
As you did when I lived,
And pretended you cared.
So I wrote this kamikaze style,
Just so I could go out with some flair.
Cause to me this life is pointless, yet people tell me to pray.
But I'd rather piss in the wind, when it was blowing my way.
Cause i don't believe in god, to me it's nothing more than myth
That poor, simple people keep treating like a form of gift
And I don't want their advice, so I spit on well wishes.
I'm just hollow and alone, with a disposition that's vicious.
So this goes out to the addicts, that hang on my words.
This is the inscription, each one of you deserves.
You're such worthless junkies, I know that each of you binge.
So it's time i gave in, and helped you feed your syringe.
And the fire in my eyes, will help to heat the spoon.
Until the words turn to liquid, don't you move it too soon.
Then we can tie your arm, until it points out a vein.
Then once I'm inside you, you better not complain.
Cause you felt the love of a titan, mixed with old testament hate.
So enjoy every fucking thing, that I've placed on your plate.
Since you never would love me, and only would curse me.
It's time you got on your knees, and did more than beg for my mercy.
Use those pretty lips that pray, to take more than pain away.
And maybe I'll write you an ark, to survive this flood here today.
Otherwise you'll drown, and dip below the once-referenced waves
That are filling up your world, like the six feet in graves...

Said The Flower To The Vine

Oh, little dandelion.
My how fast you've grown.
Spent your days searching far and wide,
Look how fast the time has flown.
But, tell me... truly...
Are you happy now?
Having gone and spread yourself so thin
That your seeds blossomed discontent?
Have you felt the pains of wasted youth,
As you wondered where it went?
Forgetting that here inside the present tense,
You're a broken soul that's bare.
Confused, mistaken up for down
While here's starting to mirror there.
But if we're being honest now,
There are some things i have to know
Did you consider this a last resort?
Or just a place where you felt safe to grow?
Tell me, did you seek to gain attention,
From every passerby?
With the fear they would only see your gifts,
If displayed them here beneath the sky.
Oh, darling, I know, I know.
You weren't wrong to hope, per se.
But still they overlooked the fact
That you were beautiful in your own way.
In this world, efforts are oft for naught
For we're specks of dust inside the wind
We're at its mercy, once we're caught.
Then we're forced to move on again.
Ever onward, tumbling through the days
Until they then give way to night
And the way you live is far from wrong
But i know that you're not feeling right
For i have felt that way myself
Still being honest, like I said
It's the reason why I'm now sharing these
Words ringing loudly in my head
But it was as I was saying this
That her face began to change
And flashed a look with angry eyes
Then started acting strange
'Cause I guess she felt interrogated
Or even cross-examined in a court
So it was then she wished to shut me up
By offering this loud retort,
"For starters, I'm not just any flower.
Hell, you're looking at a rose.
A better form was never seen,
So it's often that I'm chose
But you call yourself some kind of vine,
But in truth, you're closer to a tree.
With roots dug in as deep as yours,
You don't know how good where else could be.
While sitting here, and growing old
Is all that you can do
Unaware that you are a giant fool
And the world's biggest sap is you
So save your condescending wisdom
And advice you've offered up
Because i think that you will be alone
Until the day your coffin's shut
And you can sit here and play the sage
As if all the answers are possessed
By that thing inside your head
And the foolish thing within your chest.
'Cause I'm too busy living life
To be concerned with what you think
And i could be somebody's wife
By the next time that you blink
So focus on your business
And i will concentrate on mine"
Yes, these were all the things
A gorgeous flower had said to a vine.

Liberating Loneliness

Write this down, today.
Mark the calendars if you wish.
I just realized the obvious.
How long had i been oblivious?
I am better off alone .
Wow. What a simple revelation.
I can't believe that out of a myriad of conclusions,
This one had never yet been my own.
For how stupid can one man be?
Thinking about others before himself
Clinging to values long since expired
Stuck in his own disbelief, up to his chest in a metaphoric mire.
But life seems to be better lived lacking love.
Ignoring dispositions truly false
Some say chivalry has died,
And i hope it doesn't have a fucking pulse.
Because it's pointless to deliver efforts
Only to see them get rebuffed
And see each day repeat itself
Until you've finally had enough
So I'm fearing that solitude is better
Than devoting self to one
Who will only drive you raving mad
When all is said is done
And these are the benefits of such
No actions to decode.
No subtle hints to decipher.
No emotions to wade through,
Free to do any-fucking-thing I ever wished to do.
No little dates to remember.
None of the hallmark channel shit
Just engaging every felt desire
Until i feel it best to quit.
This loneliness is liberating
For i only argue with my mind
No more waging petty, pathetic wars
Or hoping to rekindle a flame blown out by time.
Just me, myself, and I.
The only people I can trust.

What Is There Left To Say?

What is there left to say
That I've not already said
How on Earth can I convey
What goes on inside my head
Should i say I'm missing you
And still keep your pictures in my phone
Or how i wonder if you think of me
On nights that you're alone
Tell me, has the anger in your voice
Been given time to just subside
Or do you still feel hatred for the lack
Of time i was able to provide
For i know sorry's not enough
And actions are more equipped to prove
That i feel the stabs of my regrets
Each and every time i move
But could you find it in your heart
To say hello from time to time
And not remain silent through the days
Like a gorgeous pantomime
'Cause i know the window's closed
And i left too much room for you to breathe
But i miss the days you'd smile
And i hate these days in which you seethe
So won't you just forgive me, dear
I make mistakes, i'm just a man
Fighting to stay above the water
And do the very best i can
For I was dealt the poorest hand
But it's still the hand that i must play
Knowing the darkened clouds still overhead
Will only brighten up to gray
But you helped me to forget
All the hate I've felt for me
And you used to tell me things
That would cause this active mind to dream
But i don't expect a drop of love
To be drained from out your heart
And despite this bitter end
I only wish we could restart...
Even if it's only as friends.

False Pretense

Sitting at this countertop
Wishing i could drown my thoughts
Debating on reaching down for alcohol
And giving this glass a little life
For these few weeks have been long
And disasters have been seen
With a bright, blue sky here and there
And mental storms inbetween
It's on nights like this I wonder
What would Bukowski do?
Would he write down his word profound?
Or would he pour another drink and find something to smoke?
I doubt that I'll do either one
Even though I'm feeling like i should
Thinking what good has abstaining done?
Hell, what is the point of being good?
Maybe i could believe in gods
Or even steal the things i want
Maybe i could close my eyes for once at night
And not dread the thoughts that haunt.
But who gives a fuck when it's said and done
I can't even tell if I'm making sense
I've just grown tired of my pathetic dreams
Foolish thoughts
Ugly days
Lonely nights
Toss and turns on broken beds
Media panic
Religious fervor
Political promises
Subtle bigotry
Small-minded bickering
And especially those who feign to wish me well
And do so under false pretense.