Updates For August

Do the sights of summer serenade us still?

Hello everyone. Just wanted to create a smaller entry for this month. That way I can list all of the updates for this month as they come. And you won't have to look all over the place. So here we go...

• 08/20/13 - Brand new poem posted.
  Entitled, "Shots Of Gasoline."
• 08/22/13 - Brand new poem posted.
  Entitled, "The Sweetest Sound."
• 08/29/13 - Brand new page created.
  Entitled, "8 Years Ago."

The Sweetest Sound

Hello again everybody. I'm back again. Hopefully, this finds you in great health, and even better spirits. I'm happy to say that I have another new piece for your reading pleasures. I was fearful of another long delay between pieces. But thankfully, I started this one almost immediately after I finished the last entry. I started out by listening to some music from Sarah McLachlan, as well as some Nirvana. Which is a weird combination, I know. But both Sarah and Kurt sing with such passion, and almost pain in their voices. So this amalgamation of sounds, triggered something in me, and I started writing. Trying to be more open and more vulnerable, to an extent. So I wrote until I hit the wall, and then saved it until today. Where I was able to pick up at my starting point, and I literally just finished it about an hour ago. So it is truly, the newest piece. Anyways, I feel I must warn you. This poem, entitled, "The Sweetest Sound," starts off pretty dark. And as the piece progresses, it begins to gradually become more and more optimistic. The poem was written sort of as a catharsis for some dark thoughts I had been having. And I find that it's always better to get those types of thoughts out of my head, and onto a page of some sort. But thematically, the poem is written as if the narrator is reeling from some sort of personal tragedy. And throughout the piece, he eventually comes to term with this, by realizing that his disposition isn't helping matters at all. So it's basically him, admitting to the universe, that he is going to try to use this tragedy to be a better person. So in the end, the piece is far more hopeful that it started out. Which, for those of you who know me, know that that perspective is far different for the one I used to have. But anyways, enough of my rambling.
I hope you all enjoy the piece.
And thank you ahead of time for reading all of this.
It means more than you all will ever know.

"The Sweetest Sound"
2013

Desperation's setting in
Like concrete drying ever still
And there's a hole inside of me
That I have tried to fill
But instead I have built a home
Deep inside the crevices
As if I'd like to prove
That my inner Hell is Heaven-less
But tell me, what's the use of prayer
If nobody's listening
And what's the use of shining bright
If everybody's glistening
And it's this sweet futility
That wakes me from a nightly sleep
And though this life is killing me
My sanity is what I'll fight to keep
And there are times I think
That I am on the brink
But then I'll look around
And I'll hear the sweetest sound
Children laughing as they play
Can always seem to make the day
Better than the previous
Thank you world, I've needed this
Now depression's setting in
Like a black cloud overhead
Whispering things inside my ear
Horrors better left unsaid
But instead they're ringing loud
And they echo on for days
This should not be allowed
But their persistence is worth some praise
But tell me, what's the use of prayer
If nobody's listening
And what's the use of shining bright
If everybody's glistening
And it's this sweet futility
That wakes me from a nightly sleep
And though this life is killing me
My sanity is what I'll fight to keep
And there are times I think
That I am on the brink
But then I'll look around
And I'll hear the sweetest sound
Children laughing as they play
Can always seem to make the day
Better than the previous
Thank you world, I've needed this
And now I've got this funny feeling
That I haven't felt in years
I'll confess, it's got me reeling
Thinking have I escaped my fears?
Or is this just my mind
Playing vicious tricks again
Or have I come to find
All the the things I've held within
Is determination creeping in?
In hopes of clearing out the haze
Or is this act wearing thin?
Like the sand beneath the waves
Answers escape my reach
Leaving questions here abound
Yet I know inside my soul
That I've grown tired of the ground
So I should start standing up
And brush the dirt off of my clothes
Put the pieces back together
To see how the bigger picture goes
Or maybe take a few paces back
To the starting point of this
To get the point of view I've lacked
And see what I could have missed
But tell me, what's the use of life
If I'm scared of living it
And I don't have to have it all
To continue giving it
And it's that sweet serenity
That's worth waking up to seek
And though this life was killing me
I have learned things are far from bleak
'Cause there were times I thought
That I was on the brink
But then I took a look around
And I heard the sweetest sound
And it was children laughing as they played
Which can always seem to make the day
Better than the previous
And now, it's with gratitude I say
"Thank you world, I've needed this..."

Shots Of Gasoline

Hello everyone. I hope this finds you all in great health, and even better spirits. And yes, I know it's been awhile. My apologies for that. Unfortunately, life has been getting in the way of my writing lately. My inspiration has been rather stagnant, and honestly, it has been a pretty disheartening feeling. But thankfully, I am finally back with a new piece. And, I must say, this one is pretty upbeat, lol. It's called, "Shots Of Gasoline." And the inspiration for it actually came from a conversation I was having with a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless. And once I got going, I started listening to a lot of music from Above & Beyond, which always puts me in a creative and almost euphoric state. But it was during this conversation, that my friend opened the proverbial Pandora's Box of my imagination. She asked me if I had ever wondered "what if" at any time in my life. Specifically, in regards to relationships. For instance, "What if you and so and so had dated? Where do you think you all would be now?" And more questions of this nature. So it was naturally, that I answered her questions as honestly as I could. But with the way my mind works, it was off to the races. So I started thinking about some of the women from my past. The plethora of amazing women filed away in memories, under the heading of "Ones Who Got Away." Because, again, being honest, I'd have to say 99.99999999% of them fit this description for me; but, anyway, I digress.  Once I began thinking of all of these women, I begin to get inspired to write. So instead of writing about one specific person, I imagined sort of an amalgamation of all of them, and wrote as if I was speaking to just one person, if that makes sense. And the overall theme of piece is written as if two people have gotten together after a period of time, over some drinks. And what starts out as harmless conversation, soon escalates in the mind of the narrator. And throughout the piece, he is basically saying to her, that they might as well have been sharing shots of gasoline, because seeing her again has ignited something inside of him that has been dormant for a very long time. And looking back at the piece now, it kind of has this unintentional Blurred Lines-esque feel to it, where it's meant to be playfully seductive, but at the same time, he means every word that he says. So there it is. I'll stop my rambling now and let you read the piece, lol. Thank you all for your patience. And thank you even more for reading all of this. It means more than you all will ever know.

"Shots Of Gasoline"
2013

Baby, I thought you'd like to know
Just how I spend my days
There's a fire inside of me
And I fight to put out the blaze
'Cause it was you that struck the match
And threw it inside my mind
And caused the flames to rise above
The darkness that they'd find
But girl, know that what you start
Will need to have an end
'Cause I've known you for so long
But I've only been just a friend
And that is not enough for me
You left a man needing more
So let us see what we could be
Won't you open up this door
Then you sat down and poured a glass
Might as well've been gasoline
'Cause I felt the thought of us
Needs to be more than just a dream
So fill me up and hear me out
Since you conjured up the spark
That'll light the way to you today
And bring a man out the dark
But there's a thing you need to learn
As you smile and let me burn
Gotta use your hands to take a turn
As you smile and let me burn
There's a fire inside of me
That you've caused so long ago
Oh, baby girl you've wound me up
But you better not let me go
Oooh baby, I thought you'd like to know
Just how I spend my nights
I imagine up a private show
Where you dance beneath the lights
And on this stage you're beautiful
And yes, you're barely dressed
Oh, you're teasing me so very well
Why don't you take off the rest
'Cause you gotta know what you start
Will need to have an end
And I've known you for so long
But I've only been just a friend
And that is not enough for me
You leave a man needing more
So let us see what we could be
When you open up that door
Then you sat down and poured a glass
Might as well've been gasoline
'Cause I felt the thought of us
Needs to be more than just a dream
So fill me up and hear me out
Since you conjured up the spark
That'll light the way to you today
And bring a man out the dark
But there's a thing you need to learn
As you smile and let me burn
Gotta use your hands to take a turn
As you smile and let me burn
There's a fire inside of me
That you've caused so long ago
Oh, baby girl you've wound me up
But you better not let me go
Oooh babe, I thought you'd like to know
I've repressed my waking thoughts
For what feels like centuries
So do you feel like venturing
Beneath my uncertainty
To a primal sort of land
Where your body's better parts
Will feel like Heaven in my hand
And yes, I'd go through hell
Just to feel your warm and tight
Girl, I bet it'd fit so well
That I wouldn't take it off tonight
And with our inhibitions gone
You can make a scene feel serene
So babe, let's cement our love
Over these shots of gasoline
'Cause I feel the thought of us
Needs to be more than just a dream
So fill me up and hear me out
Since you conjured up the spark
That'll light the way to you today
And bring a man out the dark
But there's a thing you need to learn
As you smile and let me burn
Gotta use your hands to take a turn
As you smile and let me burn
There's a fire inside of me
That you've caused so long ago
Oh, baby girl you've wound me up
But you better not let me go
Because it's slowly I've been learning
That this desire's now burning
And so, the truth is hard to miss
I have fallen for an arsonist
But now that I've accepted
I swear I don't regret it
Because her settling me alight
Is the kindest thing anyone has done for me,
Since I was a child
But now I am a man
That's heating up the night...