A Drop In The Pond

Hello again everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Mine was quite alright. But it seems I've had a good bit of inspiration so far. So I was able to continue riding the wave. This song was inspired after listening to a healthy heaping of Dave Gahan's second solo album, "Hourglass." It's a beautifully, moody album, and always has an impact on me when I listen to it. But as much as I love that album, tonight, I found myself listening to the two specific songs, which were "Saw Something," and the song "21 Days." Those gave me the spark I needed to start writing. The result was what you are about to read. This poem is called, "A Drop In The Pond." And while that phrase is usually associated with the ocean, the title popped into my head, and I preferred the way it sounded, so I went with it. And the poem is basically written from a sort of defiant perspective. It's about a person who keeps trying to come back into your life, despite having left numerous times, and always having things be on their terms. So no matter how calm your life gets after their departure, they seemingly always come back and make waves. And their sincerity is like a drop in the pond. It makes a small ripple at the time, but it always dissipates and disappears, eventually. Just like them. So the poem is written from the perspective of acknowledging that history, and telling them to stay gone this time. But enough of my rambling. I'll let you get to the poem now. Thanks in advance for reading all of this. It means more than you all will ever know.

"A Drop In The Pond"
2012

I'm just a little disturbed
And annoyed by the fact
That you're still coming around
And performing the act
That we've all come to know
Is getting tired with age
So I'm just closing the book
Instead of turning the page
'Cause it's the same old story
You've been telling for years
And it's starting to bore me
And hurt the both of my ears
But you keep on repeating
What's still understood
Claiming that I'd be an addict
'Cause your loving's so good
But you keep crashing the cloud
That I'm floating upon
By throwing a stone in the sky
Then I look and you're gone
And this message from you
Is like a drop in the pond
It's never enough
Or even close to beyond
So do us a favor
And just take it back... take it back...
Now tell me, am I as high as a bird
Or getting close to a god
'Cause if you're asking me
My perspective is flawed
Because all that I know
Is getting tired with age
So I'm just closing the book
Instead of turning the page
'Cause it's the same old story
You've been telling for years
And it's starting to bore me
And hurt the both of my ears
But you keep on repeating
What's still understood
Claiming that I'd be an addict
'Cause your loving's so good
But you keep crashing the cloud
That I'm floating upon
By throwing a stone in the sky
Then I look and you're gone
And this message from you
Is like a drop in the pond
It's never enough
Or even close to beyond
So do us a favor
And just take it back... take it back...
'Cause you've built your city in sand
While ignoring the tide
And then come crying to me
In the hopes I'll provide
Some form of redemption
As I help you rebuild
Ignoring the hole in my soul
That you'd supposedly fill
And like the fool that I am
I tend to believe you a bit
And get caught up in motions
Then I'm deep in your shit
With no way to clean
These stains on my pride
For being the boy with a wish
That let you inside
And it's the same old story
That I've been telling for years
How you're starting to bore me
And hurt the both of my ears
And I keep on repeating
What's still understood
The fact that you never let me
Feel your loving so good
But you keep crashing the cloud
That I'm floating upon
By throwing a stone in the sky
Then I look and you're gone
And this message from you
Is like a drop in the pond
It's never enough
Or even close to beyond
So do us a favor
And just take it back... take it back...
Tell me, how are my wounds
Ever going to heal
When you keep coming back
To cause me to feel
Every ounce of the pain
That I've buried within
And say the three little words
That will cut me again
And spill the blood from the heart
You were trying to win
But you upped and left
And that's the greatest of sins
Now you choose to return
In the hopes we'll resume
Our stoking the flames
Aimed at consuming this room
But it's the same old story
That I've been telling for years
Girl, you're starting to bore me
And hurt the both of my ears
So keep on repeating
What's still understood
The fact that I no longer love you
So start leaving for good
'Cause you keep crashing the cloud
That I'm floating upon
By throwing a stone in the sky
Then I look and you're gone
And this message from you
Is like a drop in the pond
It's never enough
Or even close to beyond
So do us a favor
And just take it back... take it back...

Apocalyptic Disappointment

Hello everyone. Knowing that today is indeed Christmas Eve, I hope these words find you in great health and even better spirits. I was finally struck by some inspiration late last night, so I began to write, and continued well into the wee hours of this morning. So know that I am writing this, literally, a few minutes after finishing this poem. As you all know, the world was supposed to end a few days ago. Which, most of us knew was a crock of shit, but some people still believed it. Anyways, that so-called "near miss" is the topic of this new poem that I have written. It's a piece that I've called, "Apocalyptic Disappointment." And the title itself, is a double entendré, of sorts. See, the poem starts off as a sort of commentary on these people who have either predicted or believed prophecies about the world ending, and my enjoyment of them being disappointed by it not happening. And the second theme of the poem, which will (hopefully) develop as you read it, is that a certain person, who shall remain nameless, has in the narrator's eyes, themselves become an apocalyptic disappointment to him. So he goes about recounting her past advice and taking enjoyment in another failed relationship for her, which, through her own melodramatic disposition, she treats as her own personal end of the world scenario. So there it is. Hopefully the poem will make sense now. Sorry for rambling there. But thank you all for taking the time to read this. It means more than you will ever know. And in case, I don't get a chance to update before then, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! (Now keep scrolling and read the poem! lol. And don't be shy about spreading the word to your friends about my blog either.)

 

"Apocalyptic Disappointment"
2012

It seems I have indeed awaken
Having rose before the sun
But I had a feeling that this day
Would be like any other one
For the sky was just a little dark
But bloomed into the brightest shade
Of blue that there has ever been
And I have witnessed it displayed
But there was a lot of chatter
On the little glowing screen
About impending cataclysms
And things they have foreseen
But for every false prediction
I have cracked a smile
And for every prophecy
My laughter went the extra mile
'Cause we're so very eager
To wait and see the bitter end
That we'll follow any seller
Who's masquerading as a friend
But it seems I have indeed awaken
And I'm counting every cloud
That will surely dissipate
With every prayer that's said aloud
But they're recounted by the ones
Who believed the ancient texts
And were getting things in order
Since they knew what was coming next
And they engaged in a lot of chatter
On the little glowing screen
About impending cataclysms
And things they have foreseen
But for every false prediction
I have cracked a smile
And for every prophecy
My laughter went the extra mile
'Cause we're so very eager
To wait and see the bitter end
That we'll follow any seller
Who's masquerading as a friend
But girl, it's time to look beyond the veil
'Cause there's more than what you see
And now my mind is sitting sail
To where it is supposed to be
And with some patience I will raise
The anchors from the floor
And I'd shower you with praise
For now and evermore
And this man would gladly sing
If the words would sound as pure
As they did upon your lips
When you said that I'll endure
This apocalypse at hand
When I'm losing sight of land
Trying not to drown inside a sea
That killed who I've tried to be
But will another savior rise
To pull me out of this
Not knowing that here before my eyes
I've seen the death of bliss
Caused by the cavalcade of chatter
On the little glowing screen
About impending cataclysms
And things they have foreseen
But for every false prediction
I have cracked a smile
And for every prophecy
My laughter went the extra mile
'Cause we're so very eager
To wait and see the bitter end
That we'll follow any seller
Who's masquerading as a friend
But if we took time to look beyond the wall
We'd see horizons start to blur
'Cause Mother Nature wants revenge
For all we've done to her
And there's no fool among us now
Who could ever disagree
And say we don't deserve
All that's come to be
But now this man will gladly sing
Hoping the words will sound as pure
As they did upon your lips
When I say we will find a cure
For our sense of disappointment
Since the end was not at hand
And we never drowned inside a sea
Nor ever lost our sight of land
But maybe another generation
Will still have room to rise
And one day pull us out of this
As I fight the tears inside my eyes
Knowing the world could have ended
And you would've left me here alone
Because you were far too busy
Making sure the world's attention was your own
By simply adding to the chatter
On the little glowing screen
About the latest cataclysm
You were too blind to have foreseen
But for your every false prediction
I have cracked a smile
And for your every prophecy
My laughter went the extra mile
'Cause you were so very eager
To say your new love would never end
That you followed the latest seller
Who was masquerading as a friend...

Dreams To Life

Hello everyone. Well, it's that time again. I have (finally) written and completed a new piece. This one came about after I dealt with some slight frustration. This poem started out from a few lines I came up with at work a few weeks ago. I had it typed up and had an almost complete poem built around it, but then, despite my constant file saving, my computer froze. And after it was restarted, I found that the only thing I managed to save was a blank document. So needless to say, I was quite mad and slightly depressed over losing this piece. But the few lines I had memorized, were retyped, and what I came up with here is a completely different piece than what was intended. The premise of the poem changed from being two ex-lovers unknowingly longing for each other, to a more singular and direct version of an unrequited attraction. The poem can seem a little dark and a little erotic in parts, and these tones were intentional. With me being the kind of guy who is lucky enough to have quite a bit of female friends, but unfortunately, only ever be friends with all of them, it was quite easy to draw from experience here, and picture certain ones in particular as I wrote this piece. And also listening to the Deftones quite loudly on my ipod, got me a in dark/erotic/creative frame of mind too, lol.

So enough of my rambling, here it is...

"Dreams To Life"
2012

On the days I'm not fond of life
I will tend to close my eyes
Trying to forget the ache of strife
And to pacify a mind with lies
But reality is seeping in
Like the brightest shade of light
And this bed I'm sleeping in
Seems its' emptiest tonight
But there's no difference made
When we call a spade a spade
'Cause dear I have been weighed
And still found wanting you
So if I told you a secret
Would you be able to keep it
'Cause there's this thing that I do
When I'm thinking of you
And if I'm at home
And I feel so alone
Then I reach for your picture
And I make you my own
But it's on days like this
That I'm not fond of truth
'Cause it stains displays of bliss
With signs of fleeting youth
And the lines upon my face
Are both subtle and profound
Yet there's still time to waste
As I picture your clothing on the ground
But there's no difference made
When we call a spade a spade
'Cause dear I have been weighed
And still found wanting you
So if I told you a secret
Would you be able to keep it
'Cause there's this thing that I do
When I'm thinking of you
And if I'm at home
And I feel so alone
Then I reach for your picture
And I make you my own
Girl, it's on days like this
That I really do believe
That I'm preferring dreams to life
And I'm so easy to deceive
'Cause you'd never feel for me
The way I feel for you
But when I close my eyes
You'll love me 'til I'm through
And whether you do regard
Me as any kind of friend
It'll never be enough
So don't expect me to pretend
That I am ever satisfied
In any role beside your king
'Cause another part of me has died
And yet you barely see a thing
'Cause your stare is occupied
By some other wretched soul
And yet it's only thoughts of you
That can seem to make me whole
So if my hand's moving to a rhythm
Please don't think me any less
Since it's only in my mind
That I'll get underneath your dress
And if this revelation
Makes you feel any sort of way
Know I've dreamed and bended you
In every single sort of way
And when my head hit the pillow
And my eyes closed to night
I was then the lucky fellow
Who could feel your love was tight
But there's still no difference made
When we call a spade a spade
My dear I have been weighed
And still found wanting you
And here I've told you a secret
But you're unable to keep it
'Cause there's nothing I can do
That will ever win me you
So now I'm stuck here at the home
In which I've always felt alone
And I'm reaching for your picture
And I intend make you my own
But darling, tell me what's a picture
When the subject is compared
To this state of loneliness
Whose hold is cold and bare
And know when I close my eyes
Your face is everywhere
And while you're far beyond my reach
These words are far beyond your care
Hopefully someday,
That will change...

 

A Writer's Dream

This was an older piece that was inspired by one of my favorite musical acts of all time... Enigma. In the video for their song "Sadeness," a man is sitting at his desk, writing, and falls asleep. The rest of the video is composed of his dream. So that is what inspired the title of this piece, and given the subject matter of the song, I did my best to recall the most erotic dream I had at that time.

"A Writer's Dream"
2007

I have dreamed a writer's dream

But not of the sleeping kind

Buried deep within the soul

Where the weeping often find

A part of themselves they've lost

Under ashes of their guilt

An effigy of sorts

In rememberance of what love had built

Gazing at the stars

That tonight are not in sight

The clouds have become obsese

And they're eating up the light

It is in this dream I stand

Alone in a baron field

With the grass dancing in the wind

And the breeze I've longed to feel

The thunder mirrors applause

From a filled up concert hall

As the sure-handed rain drops

Finally lose their grip and fall

As they plummet towards the Earth

They gently kiss my face

And for once I feel alive

In this most God-forsaken place

In the distance there's a figure

Moving slowly in the dark

I cannot see their steps

But I can hear the beating of their heart

Much like a whispering drum

The volume is dying to increase

Their cloak is blowing in the wind

Because the breeze has yet to cease

Toward me the figure slowly moves

And they're raising up their arm

And I can't seem to figure out

If they intend to do me harm

I touch the figure's extended hand

To feel their gentle skin

It's as soft as an angel's wings

And the color of porcelin

The stranger removes their hood

To reveal their identity

A goddess in her human form

Is what my Lord has sent to me

Softly I caress her face

Her eyes glowing like the moon

She said, "Beloved, I will end your despair,

And I will end it soon."

She removed her darkly-colored cloak

That she had chose to wear

And then she slowly revealed to me

That nothing was under there

Her body was soft and firm

Like beauty in the purest form

And then she gave herself to me

Beneath this violent storm

As I lay down in friendly dirt

She straddled exhausted legs

To release in her all my hurt

Is for what she softly begs

As she's rocking back and forth

I begin to feel reborn

I can feel her slowly mend

A soul that was long since torn

Her movements often changed in speed

As I struggled to adjust

It's been years since I felt this way

Tell me if it's love or lust

For how can you love someone

Who was previously unnown

Was she truly sent to me

So that I may call her my own?

Her movements finally reached a peak

Followed by a gentle crash

Neither one of us could speak

And it was over in a flash

She softly kissed my lips

And said your pain is inside of me

As I felt her fingertips

I felt my mind divide in three

Part of it couldn't accept the fact

That my pain was finally gone

The middle part did rejoice

And said it's been too long

The third part finally woke me up

From sleeping soundly in my bed

And if that was just a dream

Why do I hear her voice echo in my head

Then I felt the slightest touch

Brush against my feet

I look at the covers I was in

To see someone underneath

I pulled those covers back

To see my dream had come to life

She said, "if you don't stop waking me,

I'll never be your wife."

And it was then we shared a laugh

But she was blind to my delight

To see that dreams really do come true

And mine finally did that night

But if this encounter was another dream

Then I beg you leave me be

Because I would gladly stay asleep

If she is sleeping next to me

And as she slept deeply beneath my arm

I thought to reveal her name

But I'll keep that to myself

And just tell you that God is in the rain...

For The Ones Who Read

"For Those Who Read"
2007

As reality seeped into her dreams

Relationships mirror fantasies on the screen

Flickering just in front her bed

Having influence on what occurs inside her head.

She wakes slowly as if trying to fight

The early ending of a blissful night

But alas, her struggle is all for naught

She can't regain that in which she sought.

Tired from a day's worth of time

Running mazes deep inside her mind

Wondering if she will ever find a man

One who will finally try to understand

The things with her that go unsaid

Spoken in little signs that often go unread

With technology's non-stop advance

She wonders if she will ever have the chance

To catch the one in her world wide web

And make her impression stick to him instead...

Her past attempts ended all the same

Wondering if it is herself that she must blame

With food for thought, she wished to feed them

With a pen, she wrote her dreams across her breasts

In hopes that a man will finally read them

Because she displays herself like an open book

But they only offer her a fleeting look

For they judge books like her solely by their covers

And she often made the illiterate her lovers

And the things that never made sense to me

Was she would show them the book's contents for free

So how would they appreciate the words

When they could easily touch the pages that were hers

But to me, this book is indeed a masterpiece

And I would read every word if the abuse would cease.

But in this world, with pleasure just a click away

Do we value anything that will actually stay

On a shelf or desk, to finally gather dust

But to me it seems the world would rather lust

To be gratified instantly, to make them feel fulfilled

And foolishly ignore every drop of sweat we've ever spilled

Like those drops were written on our face

And we were sculptures tightly held in place

For the amusement of those who don't appreciate the art

Or those hoping time would help us fall apart

But our souls remain untouched, like they were set in stone

If it were up to me, they would chisel at their own

And leave ours to be free, in a museum in the sky

That was crystal blue, and angels didn't need to fly

To feel the admiration of the grounded

And our fears and dreams were never considered unfounded

But little works of art, constructed in our heart

During a previous life, in which the future had taken part

But none of this matter to anyone but God

After all even His book is often met with disregard.

So I shouldn't feel ashamed, or so quick to point the blame

At the ones who read, but can't pronounce my name.

For I am you. and you are me.

And with all of the hate in your veins,

It's no wonder that I have never been in love with me.

But then again, maybe one day I will learn how
For if you look through the eyes of the one you love
Then its the ones who hate that you can rise above...

End Of Summer

"End Of Summer"
2007

Now as we near the end of summer
I feel as cold as ever
As cold as the one who once was loved
And rejected never
But has long since felt
His unfrozen heart melt
And be recast as the knife
Inserted into his back
But the ones he had come to love
The ones beneath the rock he rose above
Their heads to let them feel the light
Of things he'd done and felt were right
Oh, how ungrateful the many have become.
Now as we near the end of summer
The sun is as overbearing as you
As hot as the one who once was cold
In a heated room with a sweater wearing few
But has long since felt
The ozone melt
And have the heat come pouring in
Like the flood of emotions
He felt when you confessed that you're adoring
One who doesn't look like him.
Oh summer, you are a disloyal mistress.
Now as we near the end of summer
I prefer the winter's hand
Because her actions were always cold
There were no mysteries to understand
Autumn let her leaves fall for me
But you pretend to shine as bright
As the sun does in the early hours
Same as the smiling moon at night
But alas you are far from the season spring
The time where flowers bloom and sparrows sing
No my dear you are the summer.
Burning everything you touch
Leaving a piles of ash in such
A manner that people think you are a saint
A beautiful picture they helped the creator paint
But you are nothing more than smeared designs
A child who used to fear what was kept behind
Their closet door during a childhood past
And that innocence was like the seasons,
My dear they never last.
So now I say farewell to you summer.
I welcome winter.
For her kiss tastes much better than yours.
And she never leaves her intentions behind the doors.
Like the ones in my home, where you kept your baggage stored.
Farewell dear summer.
For I, like autumn, am falling for winter.
Because her touch mirrors my heart
It is cold to the touch.
And once you're frozen stiff
I will push you away and watch you fall apart

Pool Of Blood

"Pool Of Blood"
2007

In a baron room
Far removed from the eyes of you
Lies a proudly broken man
Who knows what he must do
His hands touch the empty walls
As if they're adoring art
In his mind he's painting
A picture that will forever hang inside his heart
And it is a portrait of
The back you once slowly turned
For it is an image in his mind
That will be forever burned
But you know these things you do
Because you've come to do them well
And deep within your tattered soul
It's a story you wish I wouldn't tell
How you would run to me
Everytime you were in need
When I saw the things you couldn't see
And your little ego I would feed
With words dripping from my mouth
That we both sweet and so sincere
And you claimed you cared for me
But alas, you're never here
Was I a fool to be
Serenaded by your catchy song
To know your words were shit
As I embraced them all along
Yes these words like knives
On which my ears would lay
Pointed rusty edges
On which my thoughts would play
And here I bleed...
Bleed from the soul
Draining myself of all your control
Bleed from my ears
Draining myself of the lies I heard for years
Bleed from the eyes
While watching as the old me dies
And in this pool of blood
I stand alone, reborn
Slowly start to peel the fat
Away from the flesh retorn
And stitched upon a metal frame
That still bears the rarest name
And the cross I used to drag
I lay upon the sand and brag
That no longer will you matter
So save your condescending chatter
For I am not who I used to be
He would go to any lengths for thee
Instead I smile and simply state
That since I no longer give a fuck about you
Life, for the first time, feels great.

The Rush

"The Rush"
2007

In an instant
Souls of flesh and bone
Thought to be so distant
And better left alone
Combine as one
Beneath the reflected sun
Shining through with a light
That pierces the most stubborn night
In this instant
Souls of flesh and bone
Thought to be so distant
Have a place to call their own
Beneath a tidal wave of lust
Lasting longer than it takes ashes to become dust
They move and girate
Feeding fasting appetites that have never ate
In this instant
Souls of flesh and bone
Thought to be so distant
Show emotions never shown
In front a mirror so clear
That it reflects everything but the fear
That one will be gone in the morning
Leaving them alone without hint or warning
In an instant
Souls of flesh and bone
Thought to be so distant
Have eyes that flicker like lights on an artifical drone
Fabricate the things we can only dream
And hide them in our mind's tightly hidden seem
A love that far outweighs any crush
Two souls have combined to become the rush
The rush of facing fears head on
And winning.
The rush of setting a goal in life
And acheiving it. Ahead of schedule.
The rush of a religious experience.
Outside of church.
The rush of loving someone so much
It hurts yourself. Completely.
The rush of cheating death.
To live again.
The rush of not long to live.
A shortened life, built on the premise of no consequences.
What I'm trying to say, is that...
In this instant
A soul of flesh and bone
That was once so distant
May have a queen waiting on her throne
A voice to greet him
When he gets home
A whisper of love
When getting off the phone
A goddess disguised
In a mortal woman's robe
The other half
To an equation, that can make him whole.
And as I stand on the edge
Overlooking a precipice of emotions
I'm tempted to walk forward
Because the possibility of being with you
Is equal to an eternal flight
And knowing you'll be there to catch me if I fall
In case my trajectory isn't right,
Is more than any book
Or any hymn, can ever mean to him
Or should I say, ever mean to me.
So to end this tribute,
to a woman who is known to many,
but will come to be known the way she was meant to
I ask you to think querida,
Thinking of becoming more than a woman to me.
Think of becoming the rush..

The Past

The Past

There is a funny thing about the past. For the optimistic souls in life, the mere mention of the word can become a window. To view memories long since cherished. Memories that play out like movies. With scenes dancing in the mind's eye, as vivid as the day the heart and soul recorded them. But the for those on the opposite side of the coin, there is nothing funny about the past. For the mere mention of the word, can become the shackles which bind us to the things we hate the most.

For the ambitious souls in life, the past can be the spark that ignites the burning desire to improve our lives. But for the complacent souls in life, the past can be the dark shadow looming over our every move. For it should be noted, than when the things you have accomplished have far eclipsed the things you're doing, then your time has passed. You have become the past.

So once you have come to that realization, then you must choose to either crumble under the weight of your denial. Or simply embrace the nearing end of your life, and blaze a path for future generations to follow. Pound the pavements with experienced feet, and leave your footsteps as sole impressions of who and what you were. To see if the future walkers of said path, will be able to fill your footsteps. Or maybe some will come behind you, with footsteps that far exceed your own, and obstruct the view of the impressions, you so strongly made.

But fear not dear soul, for the most of the world, is slighty inquisitve. So they will dig through the debris, and sift through the ash of the current state of things, and they will salvage your footsteps. And they will be treated like the works of art they are. But the rest, will walk the path you once strolled, and never give you a second thought. So it seems is the fate of those who once tried to stop the future, and caved in like a wall pushed beyond its means.

The moral of the story, dear friends, is that the future will move forward. Forever forward. With or without us. We are simply the present. A few steps behind the future in our own eyes, but years behind in the eyes of God.

And as sure as His son once looked up to him, as he was nailed to a cross, by those who clung to tightly to the past, and were trying equally as hard to stop the future. Jesus looked up to His Father at that present time, ready to embrace his future. So we must all try to fill in the footsteps of Christ. Surely, our feet are not as strong as His. So naturally, we stumble off the path. We stray from the brighter side of day. But it's the things we do, to get back on the path he paved, that really matter in the eyes of Christ and the eyes of his Father.

So as their heavenly eyes gaze upon us now, I ask you dear friend, will you remain in the past? Or will you stand up in the present, and walk tall into the future?

I know my answer.

Do you know your own?

- Clyde Hurlston.

Her Body's Speech

"Her Body's Speech"
2007

Fleeting thoughts
Chasing a vapor's trace
The one he sought
Left a paper in her place
The ink was smooth
But slow to dry
The words they soothe
But still they cry
In his mind so still
Like echoed screams
In this room a chill
A slow-tempoed dream
The beats make colors
Like empassioned red
Painted by the lovers
On a poorly fashioned bed
Pillowcases torn
Below two curtains tattered
She feels reborn
As whispered words leave her flattered
One breath dances
Across the other's skin
Contemplating chances
Of letting the other in
To the hearts we daily guard
From the swords and spears of wrong
To relax becomes this hard
Only when your words and fears are strong
But these sheets of silk entomb
Those in their closest reach
She embraced him in her womb
Guiding him with her body's speech
But the talk is low
At a constant pace
There's so much to show
When looking at her face
Two bodies move as one
While the moon shines her approving light
For she isn't shy like the morning sun
She helps by removing all their fright
The sweat it drips on the sheets
Signs of effort in this dance
Still her body softly speaks
He listens close, leaves nothing to chance
With rapid thrusts and a gentle crash
Their movements never seem to cease
She's nodding yes and in a flash
His love screams with a release
Emotions quickly pour inside
As she wraps her arms around
Softly weeping tears of pride
They both claim it's the rain that's coming down,
Outside.

The Differences Between Men And Women

The difference between men and women.
Some so simple, some so complex.
Some so visible we take them for granted.
And others are so visible that we are completely blind to them.
As we often are, with things right in front of our faces.

Most women view men as no-good liars, and the self-serving murderers of chivalry.
And while this ideal, is not completely unfounded, it is not completely true.

Most women would also like you to believe that they have no need for men.
And have given up on love completely.
But deep down this is the truth...

To women, men represent security.
The desire to be taken care of. The need to feel protected.
The warmth of being held. And the appreciation of being provided for.
A man can do things for women that they've always desired but seldom expressed.

A woman wants to be kissed at random times.
She wants to be hugged from behind for no reason.
A kiss only the lips shows desire.
A kiss on the forehead shows true love.

A woman expects her words to not only be listened to, but to be remembered.

Dates are more than numbers or months.
They are windows to memories she never wants to lose.
The smallest details often bear the heaviest impact on a woman's state of mind.

For example, something as simple as woman blushing has deep rooted meaning. To me, when a woman blushes, it is her body's natural reaction, to something she had always wanted you to say, but never expected that you would.

But at the same time, women are ever evolving beings. Thus their expectations change.

A woman wants a man with a sense of humor, but can also take things seriously. She wants a man who is spontaneous, but can adhere to a plan. She wants a man who loves his mother, but is NOT a mama's boy. She wants a man who shows affection, but is not overbearing. She wants to feel desired, but not lusted after. She wants a man who is nice, but not complacent. She wants a man who can take control, but is not dominating. She wants a man who is protective, but not jealous. She wants a man who will hold her hand in public, and then lay his head in her lap at night.

Understand? Well you better. She expects you to know this.

And we men, we definately have our faults. Most of us see women as conquests. See them for their bodies first. See them as the guardians of our physical desires or as some guys put it, "needs." And yet most men can be hypocritical. They engage in this behavior, and then turn around and detest other men who view their sisters, girlfriends, or wives, in this same manner.

We men like everyone to believe that women do not matter to us.
That everything we do is not for their enjoyment. But that is a lie.

Men try to get in shape, because they feel women will look at them more. Men try to have nice things, because they feel women are materialistic and would want to get closer to them, to have access to said things. Men try to flash lots of money, because they want women to get the impression they can provide security for them. Men like to have nice places to live, because they feel women will want to be alone with them in that place. Basically, almost everything men do is the hopes to attract or keep a woman. Bottom line.

But deep down, to some guys, the ones who matter, women represent inspiration.

A man can be the most creative when is in love, or is heartbroken. Feelings both inspired by women. If a man finds out his woman is pregnant, he should be inspired to change his ways to better prepare for the child she will bear. In the days of great men, such as Dr. King, he was able to fight the good fight, because he had a strong woman behind him, inspiring him to change the world for the better.
Right now as you read this, there is a good man, holding a gun in some foreign desert. Willing to die to protect his country. But he is inspired to stay alive, so he can come home and see his woman just one more time.

Women were once seen as sacred at points in time. Women were seen by men as the physical gateway to Heaven. That to be intimate with a woman was the closest he can get to God.
And I truly believe that we need to get back to those feelings.

So as I draw this blog to a close, know that this was not written to show that I have some deep rooted knowledge of everything. But this merely my thoughts, given to you, after years of witnessing relationships, both good and bad, from the outside. And while I, myself, have never been in a serious relationship. I think that if you find someone, that you can really and truly devote yourself to, no matter how long or short the time. Then for that moment you were truly alive. So you should cherish the good, and not forget the bad, but instead learn from it. We are the mistakes we make, if we continue to repeat them.

With that being said, remember that you all are loved.
Clyde Hurlston.

The Two Sides Of A Coin

This is where being a muse for me can end up being a double-edged sword, lol. These two particular pieces are about a woman that is very important to me. Her name is Natalie, and she tends to pop up in a lot of my writing, such as my most recent poem "Try Your Hand At Sin." But I chose these two poems, because I felt that they best represented the two extreme ends of the spectrum of inspiration, that she was able to bring about in my writing. Sometimes my emotions are powerful, so my reactions tend to be almost overwhelmingly nice, or harsh and visceral. And sometimes, this woman has the power to bring out the worst and best in me.

"Letter To A Spider"

Dear Spider,

Thank you for nothing. Except for one-night of half-hearted pleasure. It was more than I had for the time being. And at the beginning, your sugar-coated lies were too much for even a seasoned fly to resist. Sure I flew to see you once, and candlelight surrounded a satin-covered web. I enjoyed my stay, even as you crawled all over me. Then you took me inside of you, as if it was the only thing you ever wanted to do. More lies were spilled in between your moans. How my words made you cry. And how at night you dreamed of finding a fly like me. And I cant forget your offer to see your scars. As proof, to let my love pour into you. Oh, my darling widow, how sweet they did sound. But make no mistake friend, lying isn't the only thing you do well with your mouth. I would fly to the web one more time, to feel its' talents for old time's sake. But slowly you were losing interest, because I am such a wary fly. So you were slowly turning a cold shoulder towards me. And as the temperatures dropped, your web slowly but surely lost its hold. And with the threat of directing justified words your way, you banished me from the web. And I was ostracized for calling you out on unconfirmed discretions. And oh, how childish the widow can be, when she has lost her hold. It is truly a comical situation. And then I became the inquisitive fly, and offered questions dressed up in apologies to see if I could return to the web. For which I felt a little foolish. But alas, my request was denied. And much to my surprise, and as possible proof of my suspicions, I have come to find you have quickly caught another in your web. But the only change, is that you claim to have given him your heart. Which I find to be pathetically cliché. Unless of course, your new fly was spending nights in your web, while you were convincing me you weren't like all of the other spiders. It's funny, looking back you are so incredibly see-through. But at the time, when you were in front of me, certain parts of you were blinding me to that fact. And my dear widow, please don't mistake this as a bitter journal of our short time together. But rather as my understanding for the manipulative creature that you are. It's simply in your nature. The difference I hope to make, is if your new fly is as naive as I was, then you should simply reveal your true nature to him at the beginning. And maybe your sugar-coated lies will go down as well with him, as you went down on me. Take care of yourself. It's a jungle out there. And with women, excuse me, widows like you, we flies have to keep our wings ready at a moment's notice. Good luck with the catch. I hope that satin web, still feels as good.

Sincerely,
The Seasoned Fly

And here is the other side of that respective, metaphoric coin...

"Bittersweet Memories (For Natalie)"
2009

I am standing at the edge of the unknown.
Hoping that the bridge I once tried to burn
Will light up this path I've been shown
But a breeze will cause the ashes to fly
Like some darkened snowstorm
While I scream your name 'til the echoes reply
And you sit in your home, so far away
Adjusting to each semblance of change
While I'm searching a mind, that's starting to fray
My memories are fluid, too hard to grasp
But each one contains your face
And I curse as they fail to last.
And yes, the candles still burn as bright
As they did on that night
When your lips tasted so sweet,
And my love fit your body just right
The moment our temples combined
On silk sheets that were spread
I thought I was just caught your web
But was blessed to be on your cloud instead
As you took me to places
I only dreamed I would see
And if I could turn the world with my words
You know it's right there I'd be
Thrusting on top you at best
Or beneath your moving body at worst
As you caused my temple to shake
After I did the same to you first
And with the walls you tore down
We will build these altars for us
And the world will not see
The effigies of our lust
But I now grow tired of sifting
Through these mental pictures of bliss
For it hurts too much to recall
Your welcomed touch that I miss
So now I'm closing the well
That's far from run dry
And I'll offer this apology
Along with my reason why
The one I once labeled a widow
Turned out to be a goddess of mine
And the star of the bittersweet memories
I'm now regaining with time.

Who Knows? Not I.

There is a man. Many of you have known him, yet you sometimes forget to acknowledge him. Some of you may not know him. But he is not attractive enough for you to get to know. His sorrows know no boundaries. His self-doubt never ceases to overpower the soul, that burns bright deep within the body. The body that is hard to miss, but for some, even harder to touch. And why is that? Is it because this body isn't perfect? Or because it can cast the reflection, of your own imperfections? Who knows? Not I. No, not I. Not he who has been described as too nice. And how can one be too nice? Is it because his father taught him how to be a man? Or because his mother taught him how to be a gentle man? Who knows? Not I.

But what is to become of this man? What if one day, he no longer sees the tainted reflection in the mirror, he has come to call himself? What if one day, he begins to resemble, that man in your dreams? And what if, at that time, he no longer acknowledges you? Would you feel betrayed? Scorned? Or would you just be disappointed? My friend, you know of no disappointments. Disappointment is having the one you desire, tell you that you're everything they could ever want, yet still choose another. Disappointment, is having the talents to escape your daily monotony, yet telling yourself, you will never make it. That is disappointment. That is BEING a disappointment. Or is it? Who knows? Not I.

Above this man shines a moon. A moon so bright, it could rival any smile except that of the Lord. On this night. A night which possesses a breeze so crisp, that it could slice a sheet of paper in half. There is a smell in the air. A smell of acceptance. The acceptance of the fact, that there are things we wish to change. But yet, they will not change, until we set the chain of events in motion, that will break the shackles of self-doubt. In a world filled to it's brim with uncertainty, the only thing we can be sure of, is that no day is ever the same. We may engage in the same routine, and have the same feelings as the previous day. But no day is ever truly the same. Because it is on each day, you have the power to start anew. It is on each day, that you may look yourself in the mirror and say, I am not the same person I was yesterday. No, today I am a BETTER person.

And as surely as that moon set, a sun slowly rose. And as the sun sat atop the morning sky, the clouds were pink as if they were blushing. As they looked down on a man, who is not attractive in the eyes of others, but is slowly becoming attractive to himself. As we walked into his empty house, he smiled, and wondered. What does my future hold? Will I find that special person everyone dreams of finding? Or is it the search for that person that makes us all better in the end. But who really knows the answer? You want to know who knows? Not I.

Does She Exist?

Does She Exist?

On a certain day, at a certain time, and in a certain place. She came into this world. Unbeknownst to him, she was already his. Pulled from her mother's womb, glistening with new life. Her parents comfort each other. The father ever grateful, to the pain the mother has endured, to give a gift they both will treasure for their lifetimes. As the doctor spanks this new arrival, the future goddess cries out. She cries out for the man who was born not long before her, but will care for her long afterwards. And unbeknownst to her, he was already hers.

To her, the years move painstakingly slow. Yet to her parents, they move breathtakingly fast. The years have blown by, like the rainbow of fallen leaves, in a crisp autumn breeze. The little girl who was once barely a resident of this world, has grown into a beautiful woman, deserving of this world. And she thought she realizes that fact, she doesn't demand it. Her beauty is only rivaled by her warmth and her modesty. The warmth of her smile, like a sunrise on the first day of summer. Her modesty. Like that of a gladiator who slew the lion, and fell to one knee. As he was showered with roses and cheers, from the onlooking gallery of spectators. The sparkle in her eyes, like a shooting star. It only lasts a short time, but to those who witness it, it feels as if, just for a moment. That your life is headed for the better. And her body, sculpted from a broken mold, by the hands of God himself. Who designed her, not for the eyes of men, but for the eyes of her man, and him alone. Though many will see her, they will never see the way she looks, through the eyes of her man.

But while she radiates with liveliness, the other half of her equation, has not fared as well. His smile contains warmth, but it isn't seen enough, to even melt the ice in a drink. His modesty is overbearing. While his confidence is non-existent. The sparkle in his eyes, has long since dimmed. Like candlelight on windy day, it can extinguish at any time. And his body, nothing more, than a mere work in progress. Nothing to behold, but yet still waiting for her to hold. Him. Yes, he's waiting to lay his head in her lap, feel her fingers run through his hair, and make him feel as if the world isn't there. No baby, not there. You are in Heaven. And Heaven knows how this man has dreamed of this. Dreamed at night with tears in his eyes. But quickly dons his face of a stone, because they say a man never cries.

His heart is like a building. With many emotions inside, this building has long since been engulfed in flames. This inferno is his passion.  A passion for music. Burning with the hopes that this woman will hear his music, as his call to her, to which she will come running. But this building, like any other that is on fire, doesn't have much time. Because it is only a matter of time, before the inside of this building gives way, and it begins to collapse inward, onto itself. And when that happens, there will remain only ash. The ashes of relationships past.

What the future has in store for them, has been written, but it has yet to be seen. When and where will they meet? Who will be the first to speak? Or will they just lock eyes and smile? Knowing that they have loved each other, in every past life. And that their souls, have been reborn again,to pick up where they left off, so many millennia ago? Only Heaven knows.

But what I know, is that, this man is me. And what I want to know is, does she exist?

If so, please tell her that I am waiting. And that I love her already...

Try Your Hand At Sin

This was a piece written about a close friend of mine after she and I had a conversation about her current situation. And it's another poem that got me in quite a bit of trouble.

"Try Your Hand At Sin"
2012

The crowd of sheep are roaming
With their shepherd square in view
But that smile of yours is showing
Like it always seems to do
And so you go about your day
To find comfort in routine
But with eyes as trained as mine
The truth can rarely go unseen
Darling, pretend these words of mine
Are apples on a tree
Dangling here before your eyes
For all the world to see
And before you take a bite of them
Know you don't have to share
And if you need an ear to bend
Know that mine are always there
But I know it's in your nature
To show the world your best
And ignore the growing pain
Pounding hard within your chest
And as fear gives way to rage
You debate on acting out
'Cause your co-star back at home
Is now severely lacking clout
And dear I hope you won't regret
What you were made to do
'Cause you'll see how good it feels
When you aren't afraid of you
And when right starts feeling wrong
And your wits are at their end
It's then I'll encourage you
To try your hand at sin
'Cause all you wanted was the love
You were promised from the start
But now a player on the stage
Won't play his fabled part
And so you start to wonder
If they should be recast
'Cause a rave-reviewed performance
Just won't seem to last
And with auditions drawing near
I hope you'll call my name
'Cause I'd keep on standing by
Without a hint of shame
And if you could walk inside my mind
Would it delight you much to know
That I've thought of bending you
If every position you could go
And my thoughts are often dark
With things better done at night
But my dear I do believe
That you'd taste better in the light
Of the proudest set of candles
That would ever hold a flame
As if bestowed to us in kind
And Prometheus were to blame
Oh darling, would it make you blush
To know of all the times
That I've often got a rush
As I viewed you from behind
Wishing I could place you on a desk
And introduce my tongue to you
As you'd recite your breathless prayers
'Til the moment I was through
With your fingers in my hair
Acting like waves inside my locks
I'd rarely come up for air
As you forgot the ticking of the clocks
But these are merely thoughts
That I've often held at bay
Because there's a ring upon your hand
And you barely look my way
And you bare no fault in this
For I'm a sight that's better left
To eyes that are truly sore
Or to those that hold their breath
Oh, there I go again
Rambling at the mind
Hoping to circle back in thought
Until the point of view I find
Will often rhyme enough
For you to place value on the words
That I'd probably never speak
But that your set of ears deserve
'Cause I'd bet dollars to the dimes
That you don't hear those words at home
So you wander lost through crowds
Wondering how you can feel alone
As you journey to the closest fence
Looking for a brighter shade of green
When it's compared to the dying grass
That you have often seen
And it's a shame to me
That an angel with your wings
Still longs to receive the light
That she often brings
To those closest to her heart
Or merely in her radius
And while some may give you love
Girl, I only wish to activate your lust
But if thrusts gave way to hugs
And our positions weren't for sport
I'd gladly make a queen of you
To help me rule the court
That's truly filled with jesters
Playing games throughout the day
When the saddest part of all
The biggest clown is in your bed today
But that's no fault of mine
And truly none of yours
You only wished to live the dream
Every little girl adores
But now you've grown into a sight
I'd describe as goddess to a tee
And if you ever feel the need to cheat
Don't be afraid to call on me
Because I'll truly never mind
If your relationship is flawed
Because I only want to make you smile
Before I make you scream for God
And I hope you won't regret
What you were made to do
'Cause you'll see how good it feels
When you aren't afraid of you
And when right starts feeling wrong
And your wits are at their end
It's then I'll encourage you
To try your hand at sin...

Your Halo

"Your Halo"
2012

It's when you say those simple things
That I'm inclined to see your wings
But it's often then I know
I'll see the quiet night it brings
But it's when you scream and shout
That I know that I'm about
To close my eyes and feel
As you try to turn me out
So I start to crack a smile
I've been waiting all this time
For you to lose the shine
That hangs above your mind
'Cause we don't have to be in love
We can try our hands at lust
Baby, we don't need the world
No, all we need is us
So come and take my hand
Since I'm in a mood to play
And know I want to see your horns
But your halo's in the way
And it's when you bite your lip
That i feel my inhibitions slip
And it's when we're working up a sweat
That I fear I'll lose my grip
But then I'd reach out for your hair
And I know you wouldn't care
'Cause if I could see my back
I'd know your fingernails were there
So I start to crack a smile
I've been waiting all this time
For you to lose the shine
That hangs above your mind
'Cause we don't have to be in love
We can try our hands at lust
Baby, we don't need the world
No, all we need is us
So come and take my hand
Since I'm in a mood to play
Girl, I want to see your horns
But your halo's in the way
With every blink and every flash
There's a thrust and there's a crash
There's a sigh, there's a scream
You want it slow, you want it fast
I will do all of the above, baby
At least more than once, maybe
And when we're done you can be modest
But tonight you're my true goddess
So, go on and grab the sheets
And let the pillows have a kiss
'Cause there's a spot inside of you
That I don't wanna miss
Girl, I want your legs to shake
And feel so good you wanna cry
You can call me your mistake
And I won't bother to deny
I'll just start to crack a smile
'Cause I've been waiting all this time
For you to lose the shine
That hangs above your mind
'Cause we don't have to be in love
We can try our hands at lust
Baby, we don't need the world
No, all we need is us
So come and take my hand
Since I'm in a mood to play
Girl, I want to see your horns
But your halo's in the way
Baby, I'm so far from a saint
That I have to be a sinner
And that makes the devil on my shoulder
Turn out to be the winner
But baby, I don't care
'Cause I already found the prize
That got Adam and his girl
Banished for their lives
And it's the kinda knowledge
That's too potent for a tree
And that's how good you look
When you're on top of me
So baby, climb on top
And I'll tell you when to stop
It feels like dying when you rise
And feels like Heaven when you drop
Girl, I'd swear to be your martyr
If you started riding harder
As I treat your every tear
Like a drop of holy water
Oh, cry for me girl
You can cry to the world
You can cry to a god
Give either choice a whirl
'Cause while you're doing that...
I'll start to crack a smile
'Cause I've been waiting all this time
For you to lose the shine
That hangs above your mind
'Cause we don't have to be in love
We can try our hands at lust
Baby, we don't need the world
No, all we need is us
So come and take my hand
Since I'm in a mood to play
Girl, I want to see your horns
But your halo's in the way
And baby, that's alright
We can just turn out the light
Then you can tell you friends
I was your devil for a night...

With A Preacher's Zeal

"With A Preacher's Zeal, I Screamed..."
2012

I feel you twist my words
The way you'd twist a vine
I see you hide your point of views
To try and make them mine
Friend, I see your sense of self
Is growing by the day
And that book upon the shelf
Has gotten in your way
So recite your every scripture
And sing your every verse
Thinking if we died today
You'd be rewarded first
But if you stopped to look
I think you'd finally see
That you and I are not alike
And that's alright with me
I see you at your pulpit
In front of opened eyes
And ears that are the culprits
Who digest the spoken lies
You have masked as answers
To the questions we may have
But it's your claims that make me smile
And slowly start to laugh
As you recite your every scripture
And sing your every verse
Thinking if we died today
You'd be rewarded first
But if you stopped to look
I think you'd finally see
That you and I are not alike
And that's alright with me
And then he finally turned to me
With a look of disbelief
As if it were my words
That showered him in grief
But now I've got his whole attention
Just as I had dreamed
And it was with a preacher's zeal
That I finally went and screamed
"You have no right to judge me
For you are not my Lord
And the things I choose to do
Are of my own accord
So you can save your saving
For those who need it most
'Cause I've done alright without you
And I don't mean to boast."
And as my words began to echo
I could feel the tension rise
As if I said the words
That unlocked some kind of prize
'Cause if there is a God
I'm sure I've earned his spite
But just because I've wronged
Friend, it doesn't make you right
For there's no price I wouldn't pay
Just to own my soul
But to me that doesn't mean
I must be under your control
So you can enjoy the view
When looking down your nose
But your frame of mind's too small
To hold my current pose
'Cause it's here I stand alone
On a trail that I have blazed
Right through the potter's field
You sheep have proudly grazed
As you recite your every scripture
And sing your every verse
Thinking if we died today
You'd be rewarded first
But if you stopped to look
I think you'd finally see
That you and I are not alike
And that's alright with me
'Cause you have no right to judge me
For you are not my Lord
And the things I choose to do
Are of my own accord
So you can save your saving
For those who need it most
'Cause I've done alright without you
And I don't mean to boast...

Where The Birds Fear To Fly

This particular piece was inspired by a documentary that I watched on the History Channel about the Holocaust. And there was a man hosting it, and during the course of the documentary, he took the viewers on a tour of the ruins of Auschwitz. And he noted the creeping sense of irony, that the camp is isolated within the most beautiful of forests. But once you walk past the barbed wire fences, and enter the forest, there is an eerie silence there. As if even nature knows of the horrors that went on there. And the line that he delivered, made the hair on my arm stand up. He said, "imagine being in a place where even birds are afraid to fly." And I was so moved after watching this documentary, I did my best to write. And this is the result.

"Where The Birds Fear To Fly"
2012

There's a land so far away
Where the grasses are still green
The sky's a brightened blue
It's such a blissful scene
And there's forest very near
That can inspire words
But if you listened close
Not a sound is ever heard
But look to the left,
And what do you see?
A barbed wire fence,
That's as tall as a tree
And the reason for this,
Is what you'd expect it to be
It's the birth place of death,
That supplied misery
And it's a natural contradiction
To find a place like this
A landscape held in wonder
It could be a place to miss
But when I'm glancing to the sky
Friend, I often wonder why
God clearly can't be found
In a place that birds still fear to fly
It was back in nineteen fourty-two
When their business saw a boom
But thanks to wretched history
Modern flowers fear to bloom
So now the forest has to sit
In complete silence as it grows
Around a God-forsaken place
That everybody surely knows
And if you looked to the left,
You know what you'd see
A barbed wire fence,
That's as tall as a tree
And the reason for this,
Is what you'd expect it to be
It's the birth place of death,
That supplied misery
And it's a natural contradiction
To find a place like this
A landscape held in wonder
It could be a place to miss
But when I'm glancing to the sky
Friend, I often wonder why
God clearly can't be found
In a place that birds still fear to fly
Built on a foundation of fear
While engineering the death
Here the wind barely blows
It comes whispered like breath
The walls are cold to the touch
And chills greet the spine
For once bigotry screamed
From the most corrupted of minds

What If Life Was A Game?

"What If Life Was A Game?"
2012

I used to wonder,
"What if life was a game
Like some handful of cards
Would I play what I'm dealt
And then just give my regards
Or would I slam them down
'Til you reshuffled the set
Like there was no one around
To inflame my sense of regret
Yet every suit has a face
And a sense and a place
But the purse or the pot
Is the purpose for the chase
So as the spades meet the clubs
The backs meet the knives
And envy then becomes
The engine for the lives
But, to know all the rules
You'd have to ask the gods
Because I'm with the fools
That are playing out the odds
And if life is a game
I don't want it to end
'Cause I took what I had
And I played it my friend
And yeah, it took a toll
And left me covered in dust
But now I'm in control
And I know just who to trust..."
Yet still I wonder,
"What if life was a game
Like some colorful board
Would I be able to move
If we struck an accord
But those things that you stole
As this game wore on
Were the pieces of me
You've built your kingdom upon
Like they were bricks in a wall
That answered evey call
That could be placed by the few
In your back row so tall
Compared to the pawns in the front
The bishops in between
Rooks are shaking their heads
They don't know what I mean
'Cause to know all the rules
You'd have to ask the gods
Because I'm with the fools
That are playing out the odds
And if life is a game
I don't want it to end
'Cause I took what I had
And I played it, my friend
And yeah, it took a toll
And left me covered in dust
But now I'm in control
And I know just who to trust..."
Yeah, you're often playing to win
But there's always a chance
That you'll end with a loss
When you engage in this dance
Moving round we go
Never lose your way
We'll put a stake in this world
Until we're unable to play
But am I safe to conclude
That this path is best?
Or did I fail to observe
The wreckage that rests
On the shorelines of lore
Where the players lay bare
Or was I too fucking bored
To pay those words any care?
'Cause to know all the rules
You'd have to ask the gods
Because I'm with the fools
That are playing out the odds
And if life is a game
I don't want it to end
'Cause I took what I had
And I played it, my friend
And yeah, it took a toll
And left me covered in dust
But now I'm in control
And I know just who to trust..."
Gotta play what you're dealt
No mulligans here
Just the backroom thieves
You suckas should fear
'Cause as the gullible come
They're like food to the beast
And the flow is so sick
I should be viewed on a leash
But enough about me
And we won't talk about you
'Cause your bluff got called
And now the game's through...

Two Birds On A Wire

"Two Birds On A Wire"
2012

As the room begins to spin
I feel the need for air
But I see your raise your hands
Like you don't have a care
'Cause you're just here to see
How far you can unwind
And you say I'm wound too tight
But you don't really mind
'Cause there's something in your kiss
That I would die to feel
But since I've never felt like this
It's hard to tell what's real
So you can pinch my skin
And press your lips to mine
Then I will take my place
Beside you on the vine
'Cause we're just two birds on a wire
Who will try their best
To try and take this higher
Much higher than the rest
But girl I have to know
Before the feeling's gone
Is the spark between us love
Or is it what we're on
As the room begins to spin
I see you crack a smile
'Cause the look upon my face
Proves it's been awhile
Since I ever tried to fly
And get away from ground
While knowing if I fall
It may not make a sound
Like that tree inside the woods
When no one is around
But still I must relapse
To feel this love I've found
That makes me pinch my skin
As she pressed her lips to mine
'Cause I have to take my place
Beside her on the vine
'Cause we're just two birds on a wire
Who will try their best
To try and take this higher
Much higher than the rest
But girl I have to know
Before the feeling's gone
Is the spark between us love
Or is it what we're on
Is it coursing through the wire
Or through your fingertips
'Cause I feel a bit of fire
Is held behind your lips
And girl, I'd gladly burn
Like a suicidal moth
Since other girls and you
Are made from different cloth
There's no other in this place
That I would rather have
And if you denied me this
I would go rather mad
And choose that jacket white
Then have them tie it tight
And try to give myself a hug
That felt like yours tonight
So you may make me beg
And you may make me plead
But I'll grovel for a chance
To taste that thing I need
So you can wave it in my face
Or you can turn and wink
But your love won't go to waste
Fuck what other people think
Leave rumors for the fools
And gossip for the old
'Cause the things I'll do to you
Are better left untold
So you can pinch my skin
And press your lips to mine
Then I will take my place
Beside you on the vine
'Cause we're just two birds on a wire
Who will try their best
To try and take this higher
Much higher than the rest
But girl I have to know
Before the feeling's gone
Is the spark between us love
Or is it what we're on
With some circuits made to trip
While others spark and fry
If they got the surge from you
That helped to get me high
Now I could light the whole damn town
Without coming down
'Cause there's lightning in my eyes
Each time that you're around
So please remove conductors
And keep arms in the aisle
'Cause if they want to bring us down
It just may take awhile....

This Brand Of Execution

"This Brand Of Execution"
2012

They say I waste too many days
Wrapped up in my head
And I waste too many nights
Just lying in the bed
When I should be living out
The dreams I used to dream
'Cause now I walk outside
And it makes me want to scream
And I know these words may sound
Like things I've said before
But you should know the difference is
This time I mean it more
So please believe me when I say...
This brand of execution
Is better for results
'Cause now I feel alive
Stop checking for my pulse
And strap in for a ride
As I aim for the sky
'Cause the life I was denied
Will be mine before I die
And I've wasted every chance
To tell you how I feel
'Cause my heart's a gaping would
That just won't seem to heal
But I should never fault you
For things you didn't do
And just commend the rougher seas
That you've ridden through
And I know these words may sound
Like things I've said before
But you should know the difference is
This time I mean it more
So please believe me when I say...
This brand of execution
Is better for results
'Cause now I feel alive
Stop checking for my pulse
And strap in for a ride
As I aim for the sky
'Cause the life I was denied
Will be mine before I die
See, I was once the portrait
A life of wasted paint
And I never gave solutions
Just tired, old complaints
So it made people disappear
And, I then grew into this
Through fault that was my own
There was so much that I missed
And I'm too far from perfect
To ever get it back
But I acknowledge all the things
I'm feeling that I lack
But now I need room
To try and spread the wings
That often weighed me down
Now they'll get me off the ground
And I know these words may sound
Like things I've said before
But you should know the difference is
This time I mean it more
So please believe me when I say...
This brand of execution
Is better for results
'Cause now I feel alive
Stop checking for my pulse
And strap in for a ride
As I aim for the sky
'Cause the life I was denied
Will be mine before I die
And I've found...
There's beauty in darkness
And there's ugly in light
I'm so tired of wasting
The day and the night
And I'll close my eyes
I just want to breathe
The taste of the air
That once caused me to seethe
Because it was filled
With the smell of a life
That I was too scared to live
So now, I close my eyes and say
This brand of execution
Is better for results
'Cause now I feel alive
Stop checking for my pulse
And strap in for a ride
As I aim for the sky
'Cause the life I was denied
Will be mine before I die
And I know these words may sound
Like things I've said before
But you should know the difference is
This time I mean it more
And I know my promises were like
Fingernails I used to bite
'Cause I never noticed them
Until they came undone
But to the people that I've hurt
Or the ones still throwing dirt
You will see me smile and say
Look at all that I've become
And whether it's for better or for worse
I had to get started moving first
Instead of standing still
With all this time to kill
As it was pouring down the glass
Into the half we'd label past
But since I can't stop the sand
I'll just have to finally take a stand
And use this brand of execution
That's better for results
'Cause now I feel alive
So stop checking for my pulse
And strap in for a ride
I aiming for the sky
'Cause the life I was denied
Must be mine before I die
Yeah, it must be mine before I die
So I'm aiming for the sky
And I see I'll never reach it
If I don't get off my ass and try
To shake the disposition
That's felt so much like home
And left me as the kind of man
That spends his nights alone
Because I know there's more to me
Than I ever tried to see
And I'm more than capable
Of being the man I'd like to be
So get started making way
I'll greet no obstacle today
And according to my pulse
I'll have plenty more to say
And I know these words may sound
Like things I've said before
But you should know the difference is
This time I mean it more
So... will you... believe... this time?

The Devil Wears A Dress

"The Devil Wears A Dress"
2012

Inside some hole in the wall
I'm neck deep inside a mess
'Cause I mistook an angel for
The devil that's in a dress
So tight it could suffocate
And it's redder than devil skin
Lord, I tried to look away
But I just had to look again
Once said I wanted to see her horns
But forgot a rose has got her thorns
So now her poison is in my vein
And I'm losing her favorite game
Oh, my friend you will not believe
I'm an Adam without an Eve
'Cause Lilith is in my view
So what is a man to do
Should I just turn and run
And hope that night is done
Knowing I'll never near the door
'Cause I got what I'm asking for
There's evil inside her smile
I detect it beneath her lips
Now lipstick is on the glass
From which she slowly sips
And she's locking her eyes on me
I'm like a young deer in lights
So it's really not hard to see
How I'm spending my lonely nights
Said I wanted to see her horns
But forgot a rose has got her thorns
So now her poison is in my vein
And I'm losing her favorite game
Oh, my friend you will not believe
I'm an Adam without an Eve
'Cause Lilith is in my view
So what is a man to do
Should I just turn and run
And hope that night is done
Knowing I'll never near the door
'Cause I got what I'm asking for
You must be careful with a wish
For it can never be withdrawn
And while searching for a queen
I've moved squarely as a pawn
And for a woman such as her
The chase is now the king
So everything I'd like to do
Will never mean a thing
'Cause to her a compliment
Is just a sugar-coated bore
So now my knees are making love
To this god-forsaken floor
And I'm looking up at her
Wondering what's in my drink
While the world is turning gray
Just as fast as I can blink
Then she whispers in my ear
Five words and then a kiss
And her words were ringing clear
"Baby, you couldn't handle this"
Said I wanted to see her horns
But forgot a rose has got her thorns
So now her poison is in my vein
And I'm losing her favorite game
Oh, my friend you will not believe
I'm an Adam without an Eve
'Cause Lilith is in my view
So what is a man to do
Should I just turn and run
And hope that night is done
Knowing I'll never near the door
'Cause I got what I'm asking for
Her dress was redder than the blood
Spilled from many broken hearts
That she left in her wake
After she tore their worlds apart
And I'm just the latest fool
Who thought he was the best
But it's here I lay in love
In a pile of pieces like the rest
So if you see her run
Don't be tempted by the smile
'Cause it will spark your pride
And just inflate your guile
And if you touch her skin
You won't be seen again
Unless it's in the Hell
The rest of us are living in...