The Age Old Tune

Hello again everyone. I hope you all are well. Back with another poem. This one was a bit of a battle to write. But strangely, not the actual writing part. I debated for awhile as to whether or not I would post this one. Because I have a feeling that a friend of mine may wrongly think it's about them. But after thinking about it, I decided that I'm not going to censor myself. I'm going to post what I write, anyone else's feelings be damned. If the shoe fits... lol. And besides, they say it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission anyway. So I was actually driving late the other night, after spending time hanging out with a friend. So I was feeling rather well, to say the least. And so then, I started listening to the song, "Platinum" by Orgy, and suddenly the words started to flow. So I pulled into a gas station and opened the memo app on my phone and began to type. I wrote 8 lines that became the core and central theme of this poem. And it's also where the title was taken from. Then I got back on the road and went home. After waking up the next day, I decided I wanted to finish the poem. So I re-read those 8 lines, and then decided to listen to "Lazy Eye" by Silversun Pickups, and the words began to flow again. And I ended up finishing the poem in that sitting. And what you will read here is the result. This poem is one I'm sure we can all relate to, in some form or fashion. It's basically about someone in your life who only knows you when they need something. Whether it's a favor or just someone to listen to their sob stories, they never need you until they need you. And this piece is written from the perspective of someone who is calling them on their shit. But enough of my rambling, lol. I'll let you all read it now. And as always, thank you so very much for reading this. It means more to me than you will ever know.

"The Age Old Tune"
2013

Actions are often justified
By a person's point of view
But it's time I sat you down
And made this point to you
So many smiles are wearing thin
At the simple thought of you
And I hate saying that
But it's only potent 'cause it's true
See, my limit's getting close
Like a cup bound to overfill
And once we pass the top
It's not only time we'll kill
But you're truly unaware
Of this present state of mine
'Cause you're so focused on a rose
That you forget about the vine
Friend, your fleeting happiness
It often brought me pain
But if I can be sincere
Then it's time I must complain
'Cause after every open ear
I've offered up to you
I've grown tired of the things
You always seem to do
See, inside I cringe a bit
When you find someone new
'Cause then it's every time
That I'm last to hear from you
And when I do you're bound to sing
That same age old tune
So now I'll wish you all the best
And expect your calling soon
Friend, this position that I took
In hopes to wake you up
Seems like just the kind of thing
That would surely shake you up
But now you're acting like
You were blindsided with the news
That you only speak to me
If and when you choose
But baby, let's be real
You only call when you're alone
And some other prince has left you
Through "no fault of your own"
And it's then you reach for me
'Cause I'm supposed to be the glue
That put you back together
And displayed the bright and shiny you
But you ask too much of me
And you do it oft enough
That the waves between my words
Became the one-fingered-kind-of-rough
And I hate it's come to this
But what's a man to do
When the only time I cross your mind
Is when nobody's next to you
And your fleeting happiness
Often brought me pain
But if I can be sincere
Then it's time I must complain
'Cause for every open ear
I've offered up to you
I've grown tired of the things
You always seem to do
See, inside I cringe a bit
When you find someone new
'Cause then it's every time
That I'm last to hear from you
And when I do you're bound to sing
That same age old tune
So now I'll wish you all the best
And expect your calling soon
If my phone starts lighting up
And it illuminates the room
I'll greet it with a mixture of
"I told you, so" and doom
But like the nicer guy I am
Or at least I used to be
I'll answer once it's passed
A ring, or two, or three
And then I'll barely say a thing
Just to let you sweat a bit
Then I'll forgo my wrath
Though you deserve the brunt of it
And I'll greet you with, "hello"
And ask what you're calling for
But we both know the truth
You're in pieces on the floor
But dear, I'm all out of brooms
I think you flew away with them
And that maybe the reason why
My outlook's kind of grim
But baby, don't you fear
You know I'll still hear you out
But once your sobbing's done
I need to tell you all about
How your fleeting happiness
Often brought me pain
But if I can be sincere
Then it's time I must complain
'Cause after every open ear
I've offered up to you
I've grown tired of the things
You always seem to do
See, inside I cringe a bit
When you find someone new
'Cause then it's every time
That I'm last to hear from you
And when I do you're bound to sing
That same age old tune
So now I'll wish you all the best
And expect your calling soon
Oh, do you hear that sound?
Is it my smile wearing thin?
Or is it what I feared?
Are you calling up again?
With yet another epic tale
Of the greatest love and loss
That sounds like every other one
That I've ever come across
Or do you have something new?
To finally offer me?
'Cause I confess that nowadays
I'm thinking much too selfishly
But you can blame in the least?
Or relate to it at the most?
'Cause you brought about the beast
And promptly chose it as your host
So don't start blaming me
If my shoulder's gotten cold
'Cause I already froze from yours
If the truth is being told
And now it's snowing in my room
The smallest lies are white
And silence is the gift
That you've given me tonight
Friend, your fleeting happiness
It often brought me pain
But if I can be sincere
Then it's time I must complain
'Cause after every open ear
I've offered up to you
I've grown tired of the things
You always seem to do
See, inside I cringe a bit
When you find someone new
'Cause then it's every time
That I'm last to hear from you
And when I do you're bound to sing
That same age old tune
So now I'll wish you all the best
And say good luck, my dearest fool...

Suffocate The Flame

Hello again everyone. You should know by now that I hope this finds you all in great health and even better spirits. Glad to say that I am back with another new poem. This poem in particular was part of a trilogy of unrelated poems that I started one night, over a month ago now, and just never finished. Thankfully, I revisited what I had written a few nights ago, and began to get inspired to write again. After listening to some A Perfect Circle, the gears began to turn, and I picked up almost right where I left off. And I say almost because this is one of those instances where the original thread I was working with, changed ever so slightly upon this re-visit. See, the poem is called, "Suffocate The Flame," and was inspired by a conversation I had with a very special person. She remarked to me how, in order to protect her heart and not feel too strongly for someone, she will make a conscious choice to ignore that person. Because, talking to them, and interacting with me will only make her want them more. And that is a train of thought that I can certainly understand. Because I've actually done that in the past. But it was after that conversation that I began to write originally. And the poem was going to have this underlying sentiment of someone basically saying to their lover that, "you want to forget me but you can't. Because no one else can love you or make love to you like I can." But that's the night that I hit the proverbial wall, and couldn't write anymore. But a few nights ago, when I did start to write again, the poem almost took on a life of it's own. And now the sentiment has changed from what was intended, to one of "you want to forget me, but you can't. But at the end of the day, you really should, because I'm no good for you." But of course, the actual poem is more verbose than that, lol. Anyway, I'll stop rambling and let you all read it now. I know I always say it, but it means the world to me that you all take the time to read all of this.
So thank you.
Really.
Thank you all so very much.

 

"Suffocate The Flame"
2013

Has my change in disposition
Left your feet on shaky ground?
Have the echoes of assumptions
Left you with a haunting sound?
Have you felt an emptiness
For which I am now to blame?
Or has there been a night
Where you wished to scream my name?
'Cause beneath the arm that sealed you in
Lies a place you'd go again
Where you were delighted slightly
Thinking this should happen nightly
And I know that you've been wishing
For things I did not provide
So there's no need to wonder
Why your feelings have been denied
You want to suffocate the flame
And hope it never burns
But you can't escape the heat
'Cause the body never learns
That you can't suffocate the flame
'Cause it will only rise
To the heights you've never seen
With your disgruntled eyes
Has withdrawal left you with it's symptoms?
Like a strong aversion to the fumes?
You know, the kind that left us blind
And stumbling 'til our dance resumed?
Baby, have I been your worst?
Or just the one you wish to love?
Or am I the darkened magnet that
You've failed to rise above?
'Cause beneath the arm that sealed you in
Lies a place you'd go again
Where you were delighted slightly
Thinking this should happen nightly
And I know that you've been wishing
For things I did not provide
So there's no need to wonder
Why your feelings have been denied
You want to suffocate the flame
And hope it never burns
But you can't escape the heat
'Cause the body never learns
That you can't suffocate the flame
'Cause it will only rise
To the heights you've never seen
With your disgruntled eyes
Such a circumstantial silence
Has filled the growing space
That's between the both of us
Since we were last face to face
But that is more my fault
Than it ever was your own
Since I've brought things to a hault
And left you all alone
But it's really for the best
If you're asking honestly
Because deep inside my chest
There's a hole within my soul
And no matter how I try
Or how much I used to pray
There's a doubt inside of me
That won't ever go away
So baby, you should leave me
And go about your better days
And you will forget me with some time
Then you can file me under, "phase."
And then you can find a man
That spends more time loving you
Than hating on himself
And maybe he'll even have
That good book on his shelf
Instead of lonely pictures
Fit inside of broken frames
Shit, maybe when we're done
We'll forget each other's names
But that's another thing I doubt
Since you were wonderful indeed
But now I will step aside
So you can find the affection that you need
'Cause beneath the arm that sealed you in
Lies a heart that barely beats
But it's trying to let its' anger go
Hoping that it has some more to show
And I know that you've been wishing
For things I did not provide
So there's no need to wonder
Why your feelings have been denied
You want to suffocate the flame
And hope it never burns
But you can't escape the heat
'Cause the body never learns
That you can't suffocate the flame
'Cause it will only rise
To the heights you've never seen
With your disgruntled eyes
But baby, if you blink
Please don't picture me at all
Because I don't deserve your thoughts
Nor do I deserve a call
So forget me for the best
Or remember at your worst
But never stop your moving on
The steps get easier past the first
And if you find me in a glass of wine
But sure to drink me down
'Cause things will go much smoother
If my reflection's not around
So don't the coldness of a beer
Remind you of me dear,
Nor let a straight shot of something hard
Force your pretty eyes to tear
'Cause what is meant to be will be
But I think it for the best
If you just stayed away from me
'Cause all I seem to do is weigh you down...

Virgin At Life

Hello, everyone. I hope you all are in great health and even better spirits. Back again finally with another new poem. This one had been in the works for awhile now. At one point, I had three different poems started. And all stuck at various points of incompletion. But thankfully, I was able to keep at this one and reach somewhat of a conclusion. I am still extremely unhappy with it. But I think that's more about it having been such an arduous process to finish, as opposed to the content. At certain points, it flowed well, and came together rather naturally. But at other points, it felt like I was metaphorically pulling teeth. But I decided to take it to the point where I no longer had anything else I could say, and stop there. And now I've decided to post it for two reasons. One, to see what people whose opinions I value think about it. And two, I just don't like going this long without posting something. It makes me feel like things are trapped inside my mind, and aren't getting their proper release. So here it is. This piece is called, "Virgin At Life." And it came to me late one night as I was listening to the song, "†his Is A †rick" by ††† (Crosses), and the mood of that song, just put me in a certain mood, and I began to write. The ideas poured out of me at first, and I began to write the story that is sort of quasi-autobiographical. It's written from the perspective of a young man who was painfully shy, and always down on himself. And there was a girl who wanted to change that, and wanted to be with him. But he basically refused to come out of his shell, and he would stay at home where he felt safe. But then one night, it felt like the walls were closing in, and he decides he's hand enough. So he runs away from home, and runs all the way into the city's club district to find his dream girl. And she has obviously has moved on from wanting him and doesn't seem to be the person she was. So he finds her and confesses all of the things he feels to her. But anyway, enough of my rambling, lol. I'll let you all get to the poem now. But thank you all for reading this. It means more than you will ever know.

 

 

"Virgin At Life"

2013

Sitting still in darkened corners

Oh, how wonderful the night can be

But I hear the walls, they're inching closer

With shadows closing in to crush me

But I stand up with a speed that blinds

Bursting through the door like water

Flooding minds with pleasantries

I want to stop but I keep running harder

My heart is pounding like a booming system

Do sensations know how much I've missed them?

Yes, inside this heart there are explosions

As I fight to escape my soul's erosion

For doubt has been a persistent tide

A constant force and thief of pride

Here, self-esteem was just a dream

But I keep running 'til my feet begin to scream

'Cause there were times, I wished to die

Just to be free of the strife

But it's on nights like this

I see that I'm a virgin at life

For the night, she wanted to love me

But I just hid in the day

Now I'm looking above me

And screaming, "baby, won't you take me away..."

That room of mine was a small cocoon

It stopped my wings from truly growing

Now I'm a moth that will chase the moon

And all the light she's surely showing

The city's shape, so very bent

With so many spots, that I could've went

But I went to the place, I'd been before

Where I sampled life, now I'm looking for more

Once young and dumb, now aged and numb

Looking for ways, that I can now become

That demi-god, in the books she read

That walked around, in her sleeping head

Proud and shirtless, and carved from granite

That piqued her interest, 'til she couldn't stand it

But this did not occur, and caused me stress

And when I look in the glass, I've only seen a mess

Now, my heart is pounding like a booming system

Do sensations know how much I've missed them?

Yes, inside this heart there are explosions

As I fight to escape my soul's erosion

For doubt has been a persistent tide

A constant force and thief of pride

Here, self-esteem was just a dream

But I keep running 'til my feet begin to scream

There were times, I wished to die

Just to be free of the strife

But it's on nights like this

I see that I'm a virgin at life

For the night, she wanted to love me

But I just hid in the day

Now I'm looking above me

And screaming, "baby, won't you take me away..."

And now there are many things, that I wish to know

A light once red, has gone green to go

Beyond the place, I will sojourn

For there are secrets in me, you'll wish to learn

Like my love for the way, in which you'd say

"Make love to me," while inside my mind

And in this dream, you stared into the ceiling

As I did that thing you like, that left you feeling

Like you once died, and were then revived

By this tongue of mine, as you came alive

Now won't you look at me, tell me dirty things?

As we become entwined, until your body sings?

Or would you prefer, to climb atop?

And lose your mind, until I beg you to stop?

'Cause my heart is pounding like a booming system

Do sensations know how much I've missed them?

Yes, inside of you, there are explosions

As I fight to escape my love's erosion

For hate has been a persistent tide

A constant force and thief of pride

Girl, I thought you were just a dream

But I'll keep loving you 'til my heart begins to scream

'Cause there were times, I wished to die

Just to be free of the strife

But it's on nights like this

I see that I'm a virgin at life

For the night, she wanted to love me

But I just hid in the day

Now I'm looking above me

And screaming, "baby, won't you take me away..."

And now this search I'm on,

Has me much closer to serenity

So until all my doubt is gone

Girl, won't you take my virginity

Not in the classic sense

Or said with false pretense

But as in rebirth by your touch

I've been dead inside for so long

That you couldn't touch me too much

So use your fingertips and start peeling away

All the things that I've done and wished I would say

Then make love to me, and it's in this Heaven I will stay...