Said The Flower To The Vine

Oh, little dandelion.
My how fast you've grown.
Spent your days searching far and wide,
Look how fast the time has flown.
But, tell me... truly...
Are you happy now?
Having gone and spread yourself so thin
That your seeds blossomed discontent?
Have you felt the pains of wasted youth,
As you wondered where it went?
Forgetting that here inside the present tense,
You're a broken soul that's bare.
Confused, mistaken up for down
While here's starting to mirror there.
But if we're being honest now,
There are some things i have to know
Did you consider this a last resort?
Or just a place where you felt safe to grow?
Tell me, did you seek to gain attention,
From every passerby?
With the fear they would only see your gifts,
If displayed them here beneath the sky.
Oh, darling, I know, I know.
You weren't wrong to hope, per se.
But still they overlooked the fact
That you were beautiful in your own way.
In this world, efforts are oft for naught
For we're specks of dust inside the wind
We're at its mercy, once we're caught.
Then we're forced to move on again.
Ever onward, tumbling through the days
Until they then give way to night
And the way you live is far from wrong
But i know that you're not feeling right
For i have felt that way myself
Still being honest, like I said
It's the reason why I'm now sharing these
Words ringing loudly in my head
But it was as I was saying this
That her face began to change
And flashed a look with angry eyes
Then started acting strange
'Cause I guess she felt interrogated
Or even cross-examined in a court
So it was then she wished to shut me up
By offering this loud retort,
"For starters, I'm not just any flower.
Hell, you're looking at a rose.
A better form was never seen,
So it's often that I'm chose
But you call yourself some kind of vine,
But in truth, you're closer to a tree.
With roots dug in as deep as yours,
You don't know how good where else could be.
While sitting here, and growing old
Is all that you can do
Unaware that you are a giant fool
And the world's biggest sap is you
So save your condescending wisdom
And advice you've offered up
Because i think that you will be alone
Until the day your coffin's shut
And you can sit here and play the sage
As if all the answers are possessed
By that thing inside your head
And the foolish thing within your chest.
'Cause I'm too busy living life
To be concerned with what you think
And i could be somebody's wife
By the next time that you blink
So focus on your business
And i will concentrate on mine"
Yes, these were all the things
A gorgeous flower had said to a vine.

Liberating Loneliness

Write this down, today.
Mark the calendars if you wish.
I just realized the obvious.
How long had i been oblivious?
I am better off alone .
Wow. What a simple revelation.
I can't believe that out of a myriad of conclusions,
This one had never yet been my own.
For how stupid can one man be?
Thinking about others before himself
Clinging to values long since expired
Stuck in his own disbelief, up to his chest in a metaphoric mire.
But life seems to be better lived lacking love.
Ignoring dispositions truly false
Some say chivalry has died,
And i hope it doesn't have a fucking pulse.
Because it's pointless to deliver efforts
Only to see them get rebuffed
And see each day repeat itself
Until you've finally had enough
So I'm fearing that solitude is better
Than devoting self to one
Who will only drive you raving mad
When all is said is done
And these are the benefits of such
No actions to decode.
No subtle hints to decipher.
No emotions to wade through,
Free to do any-fucking-thing I ever wished to do.
No little dates to remember.
None of the hallmark channel shit
Just engaging every felt desire
Until i feel it best to quit.
This loneliness is liberating
For i only argue with my mind
No more waging petty, pathetic wars
Or hoping to rekindle a flame blown out by time.
Just me, myself, and I.
The only people I can trust.

What Is There Left To Say?

What is there left to say
That I've not already said
How on Earth can I convey
What goes on inside my head
Should i say I'm missing you
And still keep your pictures in my phone
Or how i wonder if you think of me
On nights that you're alone
Tell me, has the anger in your voice
Been given time to just subside
Or do you still feel hatred for the lack
Of time i was able to provide
For i know sorry's not enough
And actions are more equipped to prove
That i feel the stabs of my regrets
Each and every time i move
But could you find it in your heart
To say hello from time to time
And not remain silent through the days
Like a gorgeous pantomime
'Cause i know the window's closed
And i left too much room for you to breathe
But i miss the days you'd smile
And i hate these days in which you seethe
So won't you just forgive me, dear
I make mistakes, i'm just a man
Fighting to stay above the water
And do the very best i can
For I was dealt the poorest hand
But it's still the hand that i must play
Knowing the darkened clouds still overhead
Will only brighten up to gray
But you helped me to forget
All the hate I've felt for me
And you used to tell me things
That would cause this active mind to dream
But i don't expect a drop of love
To be drained from out your heart
And despite this bitter end
I only wish we could restart...
Even if it's only as friends.

False Pretense

Sitting at this countertop
Wishing i could drown my thoughts
Debating on reaching down for alcohol
And giving this glass a little life
For these few weeks have been long
And disasters have been seen
With a bright, blue sky here and there
And mental storms inbetween
It's on nights like this I wonder
What would Bukowski do?
Would he write down his word profound?
Or would he pour another drink and find something to smoke?
I doubt that I'll do either one
Even though I'm feeling like i should
Thinking what good has abstaining done?
Hell, what is the point of being good?
Maybe i could believe in gods
Or even steal the things i want
Maybe i could close my eyes for once at night
And not dread the thoughts that haunt.
But who gives a fuck when it's said and done
I can't even tell if I'm making sense
I've just grown tired of my pathetic dreams
Foolish thoughts
Ugly days
Lonely nights
Toss and turns on broken beds
Media panic
Religious fervor
Political promises
Subtle bigotry
Small-minded bickering
And especially those who feign to wish me well
And do so under false pretense.

The Grander Scale Of Things

"The Grander Scale Of Things"
2014

In the darkness I lay empty
In the darkness I am whole
In the darkness I am wide awake
For there's darkness in my soul
And blue skies may rule the day
But no stars will rule my night
For even the moon is known to disappear
If the conditions are just right
And nobody cares to hear details
Since we each possess our own
Struggles to survive and overcome
When we realize that we're alone
But i fear these thoughts are vices
That i keep relapsing to indulge
Since most get off on little, dirty secrets
Others just happen to divulge
But what does it truly matter
On the grander scale of things
When a soul can find no counterbalance
To help him even out the swings
And as one side is raised into the sky
The other grows closer to the ground
Points of view will become obscured
And no equal footing will be found
So let nobody tell you different
If there's darkness in your eyes
Just enjoy the view that you've obtained
As they're seeking shade from lies
For that's what light is known to do
It burns and illuminates the flaws
Of even the most known and noble souls
Without warning or just cause.
And i have felt it burn me
More than a time or two
Yet i won't display the scars
Just to amuse the fools like you
So as i retreat to darkness
And to things i feel are true
I feel the world is better off
If I'm no longer in its' view
So please leave this beast alone
In the tower he calls home
Where the ringing bell is the tale I'll tell
To inform this wretched world,
That their favorite doormat has come and gone.

Learn To Hate

"Learn To Hate"
2014

It's time to sever all connections
And raise the anchors that were there
Then we'll unfold our whitest flags
And raise them slowly in the air
To show the world we're finished
Playing this hide and seek with hope
Cause after treading so much water
I see that I'm finally out of rope
And there's this nagging, sinking feeling
That i cannot rise above
It tells me that i should learn to hate
When it hurts too much to love
For how much disappointment
Is one soul meant to bare
Before they shrug their shoulders
To prove their lack of care.
And if you asked me to describe
The way that I'm feeling deep inside
I'd say that bitterness returned
Like a strong, unforgiving tide
Come to erode the better parts of me
That i proudly used to have
But as each piece is washed away
All i can really do is laugh
Cause there's this nagging, sinking feeling
That i cannot rise above
It tells me that i should learn to hate
When it hurts too much to love
And I think I'm better off without it
So why should i bother to pretend
And why should a journey be restarted
After such a painful end
Yes, there were always weeds within the flowers
And even thorns upon a rose
But these facts have not a bit of bearing
On this stance that i have chose
And i don't need the view from mountains
To truly appreciate the climb
But if you see the heights from which I've fallen
Maybe you'd start appreciating mine
Or would you help pick up the pieces
Even place them in a pile
Am i wrong for being tired
Having gone every extra mile
While getting nothing in return
But regretful thoughts and misery
Knowing if i took the quickest look around
There's nobody missing me
'Cause there was a point in time
When I'd place no else above
But babe, i had to learn to hate
Because it hurts too much to love
And I want the world to know my pain
If you want to know the truth
Since my better days are gone
And evaporated like my youth.

The Plight Of Tired Hands

"The Plight Of Tired Hands"
2014

Every night before i sleep
I use my tired hands to trace
The spot inside my lonely bed
Where you'd take your rightful place
And i would stare and watch in awe
As you took each graceful breath
Knowing that to keep you safe from harm
I'd introduce myself to death
And I've imagined you alive and still
Glowing like an angel in your form
A sight so pure, the tears I've spilled
Have become a nightly norm
I watch your hair start to slowly fall
So it can kiss the pillowcase
And once I would have envied this,
But now I'm blessed to know your taste
With lips as soft as perfect clouds
It's as if you smile within your sleep
And i fear I'll move and wake you up
So it's my balance I must keep
And as i raise the sheets above your waist
With the hopes to keep you warm
I slowly place your hair behind your ear
As i barely lift my arm
For i need to see your gorgeous face
If I'm to believe it's not a dream
All while knowing deep down inside
I'm so happy i could scream
But instead i hear the rhythm of your breaths
And they seem to form a song
As i recall my wait of over thirty years
Wondering how i survived this long
Without your soft and healing touch
That slowly fixed my frowning face
Or have i truly dreamed you into life
I wonder if this could be the case
If it is, then darling I'm,
Pleading guilty here and now
Cause I've never fell this hard before
And i don't care to answer how
Leave the questions to the scholars, love
Their debates will rage for days
For I barely hear the noisy fan above
As I still stare at you, amazed.
And the window blinds are barely cracked
So the moonlight's pouring in
And I'm struck dumb as I observe
The way it dances off your skin
And i can't help my wanting you
You're just so majestic and alive
That i want to kiss you right awake
And taste the love I've been denied
Then I'll let you get your bearings as,
I kiss my way below your waist
Inching close to paradise
As i move the blankets now with haste
To reveal the amazing legs that hold you up
And I'm compelled to praise them much
But i would rather feel them here and now
And watch you tremble from my touch.