Rapture

Hello (again) everyone, lol. So, as I was saying in the last post, this is my first new poem of 2013. And the title of the poem is obviously a familiar word to most people. One that has many different meanings to many different people. With the most prevalent definition carrying largely religious implications. And knowing all of this, I must say that the title was deliberately chosen. It speaks to the meaning of the poem. See, the tone of the poem gradually shifts, just as my mood did when I was writing it. I started the piece when I was really down and almost brooding, but then it slowly ligthens up and becomes sort of playful towards the end. And hopefully that comes across as you're reading it. But as far as the meaning behind the poem goes, it is both literal and hypothetical at the same time. "Rapture," is written as if I am confessing the burdens of my personal struggles to a woman whom I want to be my lover. And I am trying to convince her that it is her intimacy and her love that could act as a rapture, and almost "save" me from myself. Which, I know, isn't fair to ask of someone. I need to do most of the heavy lifting myself, lol. But for the sake of the poem, and getting some catharsis from writing the poem, the idea seemed romantic to me. So I wrote. And now I do feel better to a degree. But enough of my rambling. I need to actually let you read it now, lol.

Oh, yeah. There is a reference in this poem to a friend of mine. She was one of a handful of people I talked to while writing this. And I had asked her a simple question, which was, "if you could change one thing about me, what would it be?" And her response was only three words, which she knew would make a great impact on me. And she was right, lol. Well played, darling.




"Rapture"
2013

Oh, it's here I sit alone again
Searching through a vacant mind
Watching clocks has gotten old
All it does is waste my time
But then I see the second hand
As it has to greet the first
And I swear it makes me think
That my outlook has gotten worse
I need to get from out this chair
Step outside and grab some air
But everytime I close my eyes
I see a flash of you and realize
That it seems I need a rapture
But not the kind from god
'Cause I'm dying to escape
From a point of view that's flawed
And it seems I need a rapture
To finally save me from a mind
In which I have been captured
While waiting here for you to find
But here I sit alone again
Lost in my thoughts of those
Who often failed to pass a glance
But that is the way it goes
And it's then I hear your voice
And I think, "my salvation's come"
But it seems I can't rejoice
'Cause a mess is what I've become
Still, I need to get from out this chair
To step outside and grab some air
But everytime I close my eyes
A part of me is compromised
'Cause it seems I need a rapture
But not the kind from god
For I'm dying to escape
From a point of view that's flawed
And it seems I need a rapture
To finally save me from a mind
In which I have been captured
While waiting here for you to find
But here I am alone again
With my hands entrenched in hair
I've stared into the abyss so long
I've discovered all the wonders there
But all that's good does not compare
To the thought of seeing you
And if you said you'd save me now
I'd try my hand believing you
Would find a way around my name
And clean the mess that I became
Waiting here's become the norm
And I'm far too calm inside the storm
But with no here to pull me out
I've gotten intimate with doubt
But all she does is put me down
While pointing out you're not around
And I think the saddest part
Is that I know she's right
But then she starts to look like me
When held up to the candlelight
But as that flame tries reaching high
And the wick begins to die
I wonder if you wonder why
I long to feel your temple try
To hide each quake that it might make
After bending 'til it's close to break
Your valleys I will not forsake
For I long to be your sweet mistake
Still, I need to get from out this chair
To step outside and grab some air
But everytime I close my eyes
I fear you won't become my prize
'Cause it seems I need a rapture
But not the kind from god
For I'm dying to escape
From a point of view that's flawed
And it seems I need a rapture
To save me from a mind
In which I have been captured
While waiting here for you to find
That a glance at you, my precious gift
Is sure to help these spirits lift
And I try not to stare, but can't resist
Though you're unaware, that I exist
And darling, that's no fault of yours
But I can't walk through unopened doors
So please light the way, into your heart
And I'll slide right in, then play my part
But there have been far too many roosters,
In the fabled, house of hens
And you've had far too many demons,
Hide in the guise of friends
Dear, I understand, this dilemma true
For they've done no good for you
But I'm still overlooked, and in your view
With no one to love, and nothing to do
Except to get from out this chair
To step outside and grab some air
But everytime I close my eyes
I hope you will finally realize
That it seems I need a rapture
But not the kind from god
For I'm dying to escape
From a point of view that's flawed
And it seems I need a rapture
To finally save me from a mind
In which I have been captured
While waiting here for you to find
Just how much I need you...