The Monster Treading Water

"The Monster Treading Water"
2014

If I were to cross this ocean full of thoughts
Would I find you on the shore
Watching as the waves slowly rose to crash
With their machinations pure
'Cause as I float here hopelessly
I try to think my pleasant thoughts
For the abyss I coast upon
Is the proof of all that negativity has wrought
That is why the tides are black
And thick as petroleum
Knowing that horrors I've hid beneath
Were capped with doubts of holy ones
But I'm nothing without my thoughts
So why do I feel such shame
Since I know I made each conscious choice
To shape the monster I became
With written, long-winded dreams
Claiming I rang the bell inside the towers
Like that misshapen beast of classic lore
Who was left without an ounce of power
Thinking there was one who'd hear the call
And come rushing in to aid
But if they say that love is just a game
Will there ever be a prize for getting played?
But friend, I'm fearing not
Since there is a law that states
That we only get what we attract
Like some form of strong, magnetic plates
With ends that face away
And still draw each other near
"So if you seek a true path to change,
I think all that you must do is clear."
Or at least that is how it goes
For the beautiful and bold
Who believe with all their hearts
Down to the pits of golden souls
But for those of us like me
With dispositions often grim,
It's best to find something to hold your weight
In case you're like this ugly monster here,
Who never learned to swim.

Ramblings Of The Liar

"Ramblings Of The Liar"

There is something missing in all of us... isn't there? 
And since it's easier to live in a perpetual state of denial,
We don't acknowledge this truth.
We look for something to fill the void.
Whether it's the drink or the drugs, shopping or salvation,
We look for something external to fill a void internal.
But not me. You know what I did? I embraced the void. 
I let myself wade out into the darkness and see if I would drown.
And you know what happened? I survived.
But like a white cloth dropped into a vat of ink,
I do bear the proof of my journey. Forever stained.
For it has been said that if you stare long into the abyss,
The abyss also stares back into you.
And as it peered into my eyes, it revealed a truth.
And truth is that we are all liars.
Children wearing the mask of maturity.
Claiming we are happy, when we are anything but.
Most of us have our pasts holding us back like anchors.
But we put on the brave front, and pretend that we are hardened.
So that the future will pull us forward like magnets.
But we are stuck. In a never-ending state of want.
Both weighed and measured.
We want what we cannot have, and ignore the things we can.
I mean, come on,
Isn't it the struggle that makes the water slipping through your hands taste better,
Than the drops in that glass supposedly half-full?
Oh, well. What do I know?
I'm just a liar, after all...
Right?

Animals Walking Upright

"Animals Walking Upright"


Just because we know of the Plieades
And we believe in different deities
That that somehow separates us from the rest
Of the wild creatures crawling,
Sprawling, and swimming about
All while denying the urges of the creatures
Held tightly in the cage beneath our chests
That we tried and truly
Could never, ever live without
'Cause we're just animals walking upright.
Subject to our very whims
As each day fades into a night.
But in places we don't discuss at parties
We hide the darkest of our secrets
And do more than praying on our knees
While our vices outweigh regrets
And we hope that nobody ever sees.
But let's not forget the horrors
We've committed in our minds
Thoughts of murder, lust, and greed
Filled seconds of these complicated times
That we fight to keep living in
Hoping good deeds balance out our lies
And that our lovers never witness
The crazed and raging monsters,
Locked up tight behind our eyes.