Chair For One

"Chair For One"
2014

There were so many things
That I should feel ashamed to tell
She used to think I was a fit for heaven
Now she knows that I'm tailor made for hell
So she can save her crying
When all is said and done
Then we will sit her party down
As the maître d' calls out, "Pity, Chair For One."
'Cause she used to want me badly
Or so she used to say
But when I let her peek behind the glass
She turned to run away
So now I hope she suffers
As each word becomes a blade
That I bury deep in her emotions pure
As you hail the best mistake she's ever made
And I wish I could stab a pretty sunset
Until it bleeds on an ocean's face
So as that tide came rolling in
It'd bear proof she's been replaced
But excuse my sense of humor
She's a pathetic little tart
That should be feeling foolish now
Knowing she'll never reside with my heart
But if I could hear her now
Backed by some noisy violin
I bet she'd pantomime the martyr
Until her Pilate returned again
So she can dance and spin her tales
As I sharpen up my nails
Then I'll put her up for all the world to see
So they can take her picture with their phones
To prove she was crucified,
And driven in to my last faded memory.
As I smile and whisper,
"Good riddance."

The Monster Treading Water

"The Monster Treading Water"
2014

If I were to cross this ocean full of thoughts
Would I find you on the shore
Watching as the waves slowly rose to crash
With their machinations pure
'Cause as I float here hopelessly
I try to think my pleasant thoughts
For the abyss I coast upon
Is the proof of all that negativity has wrought
That is why the tides are black
And thick as petroleum
Knowing that horrors I've hid beneath
Were capped with doubts of holy ones
But I'm nothing without my thoughts
So why do I feel such shame
Since I know I made each conscious choice
To shape the monster I became
With written, long-winded dreams
Claiming I rang the bell inside the towers
Like that misshapen beast of classic lore
Who was left without an ounce of power
Thinking there was one who'd hear the call
And come rushing in to aid
But if they say that love is just a game
Will there ever be a prize for getting played?
But friend, I'm fearing not
Since there is a law that states
That we only get what we attract
Like some form of strong, magnetic plates
With ends that face away
And still draw each other near
"So if you seek a true path to change,
I think all that you must do is clear."
Or at least that is how it goes
For the beautiful and bold
Who believe with all their hearts
Down to the pits of golden souls
But for those of us like me
With dispositions often grim,
It's best to find something to hold your weight
In case you're like this ugly monster here,
Who never learned to swim.

Ramblings Of The Liar

"Ramblings Of The Liar"

There is something missing in all of us... isn't there? 
And since it's easier to live in a perpetual state of denial,
We don't acknowledge this truth.
We look for something to fill the void.
Whether it's the drink or the drugs, shopping or salvation,
We look for something external to fill a void internal.
But not me. You know what I did? I embraced the void. 
I let myself wade out into the darkness and see if I would drown.
And you know what happened? I survived.
But like a white cloth dropped into a vat of ink,
I do bear the proof of my journey. Forever stained.
For it has been said that if you stare long into the abyss,
The abyss also stares back into you.
And as it peered into my eyes, it revealed a truth.
And truth is that we are all liars.
Children wearing the mask of maturity.
Claiming we are happy, when we are anything but.
Most of us have our pasts holding us back like anchors.
But we put on the brave front, and pretend that we are hardened.
So that the future will pull us forward like magnets.
But we are stuck. In a never-ending state of want.
Both weighed and measured.
We want what we cannot have, and ignore the things we can.
I mean, come on,
Isn't it the struggle that makes the water slipping through your hands taste better,
Than the drops in that glass supposedly half-full?
Oh, well. What do I know?
I'm just a liar, after all...
Right?