Virgin At Life

Hello, everyone. I hope you all are in great health and even better spirits. Back again finally with another new poem. This one had been in the works for awhile now. At one point, I had three different poems started. And all stuck at various points of incompletion. But thankfully, I was able to keep at this one and reach somewhat of a conclusion. I am still extremely unhappy with it. But I think that's more about it having been such an arduous process to finish, as opposed to the content. At certain points, it flowed well, and came together rather naturally. But at other points, it felt like I was metaphorically pulling teeth. But I decided to take it to the point where I no longer had anything else I could say, and stop there. And now I've decided to post it for two reasons. One, to see what people whose opinions I value think about it. And two, I just don't like going this long without posting something. It makes me feel like things are trapped inside my mind, and aren't getting their proper release. So here it is. This piece is called, "Virgin At Life." And it came to me late one night as I was listening to the song, "†his Is A †rick" by ††† (Crosses), and the mood of that song, just put me in a certain mood, and I began to write. The ideas poured out of me at first, and I began to write the story that is sort of quasi-autobiographical. It's written from the perspective of a young man who was painfully shy, and always down on himself. And there was a girl who wanted to change that, and wanted to be with him. But he basically refused to come out of his shell, and he would stay at home where he felt safe. But then one night, it felt like the walls were closing in, and he decides he's hand enough. So he runs away from home, and runs all the way into the city's club district to find his dream girl. And she has obviously has moved on from wanting him and doesn't seem to be the person she was. So he finds her and confesses all of the things he feels to her. But anyway, enough of my rambling, lol. I'll let you all get to the poem now. But thank you all for reading this. It means more than you will ever know.

 

 

"Virgin At Life"

2013

Sitting still in darkened corners

Oh, how wonderful the night can be

But I hear the walls, they're inching closer

With shadows closing in to crush me

But I stand up with a speed that blinds

Bursting through the door like water

Flooding minds with pleasantries

I want to stop but I keep running harder

My heart is pounding like a booming system

Do sensations know how much I've missed them?

Yes, inside this heart there are explosions

As I fight to escape my soul's erosion

For doubt has been a persistent tide

A constant force and thief of pride

Here, self-esteem was just a dream

But I keep running 'til my feet begin to scream

'Cause there were times, I wished to die

Just to be free of the strife

But it's on nights like this

I see that I'm a virgin at life

For the night, she wanted to love me

But I just hid in the day

Now I'm looking above me

And screaming, "baby, won't you take me away..."

That room of mine was a small cocoon

It stopped my wings from truly growing

Now I'm a moth that will chase the moon

And all the light she's surely showing

The city's shape, so very bent

With so many spots, that I could've went

But I went to the place, I'd been before

Where I sampled life, now I'm looking for more

Once young and dumb, now aged and numb

Looking for ways, that I can now become

That demi-god, in the books she read

That walked around, in her sleeping head

Proud and shirtless, and carved from granite

That piqued her interest, 'til she couldn't stand it

But this did not occur, and caused me stress

And when I look in the glass, I've only seen a mess

Now, my heart is pounding like a booming system

Do sensations know how much I've missed them?

Yes, inside this heart there are explosions

As I fight to escape my soul's erosion

For doubt has been a persistent tide

A constant force and thief of pride

Here, self-esteem was just a dream

But I keep running 'til my feet begin to scream

There were times, I wished to die

Just to be free of the strife

But it's on nights like this

I see that I'm a virgin at life

For the night, she wanted to love me

But I just hid in the day

Now I'm looking above me

And screaming, "baby, won't you take me away..."

And now there are many things, that I wish to know

A light once red, has gone green to go

Beyond the place, I will sojourn

For there are secrets in me, you'll wish to learn

Like my love for the way, in which you'd say

"Make love to me," while inside my mind

And in this dream, you stared into the ceiling

As I did that thing you like, that left you feeling

Like you once died, and were then revived

By this tongue of mine, as you came alive

Now won't you look at me, tell me dirty things?

As we become entwined, until your body sings?

Or would you prefer, to climb atop?

And lose your mind, until I beg you to stop?

'Cause my heart is pounding like a booming system

Do sensations know how much I've missed them?

Yes, inside of you, there are explosions

As I fight to escape my love's erosion

For hate has been a persistent tide

A constant force and thief of pride

Girl, I thought you were just a dream

But I'll keep loving you 'til my heart begins to scream

'Cause there were times, I wished to die

Just to be free of the strife

But it's on nights like this

I see that I'm a virgin at life

For the night, she wanted to love me

But I just hid in the day

Now I'm looking above me

And screaming, "baby, won't you take me away..."

And now this search I'm on,

Has me much closer to serenity

So until all my doubt is gone

Girl, won't you take my virginity

Not in the classic sense

Or said with false pretense

But as in rebirth by your touch

I've been dead inside for so long

That you couldn't touch me too much

So use your fingertips and start peeling away

All the things that I've done and wished I would say

Then make love to me, and it's in this Heaven I will stay...