A Thinking Man's Fool

Hello everyone. It's that time again, lol. I hope you all are well. I can't really complain, myself. I can't brag about anything, lol. But no real complaints. Anyways, it's time for another poem. This one is called, "A Thinking Man's Fool." And the title just popped into my head the other day, and after typing the title, the words began to flow. And I got pretty far into this piece, before I hit that metaphoric wall. So I saved it, and put it away for another day. And finally, tonight I was able to revisit and ride the idea along the rails until I felt I reached a destination that I could live with. (For now anyway, lol.) But this poem kind of drifts back and forth between moods. It's written with these intentions of being really tongue-in-cheek and playful, whilst also expressing some very dark things about myself that I really wouldn't discuss outside of trusted company. But so often, these types of things come out in my writing. And I honestly don't know if these are things I should share in such a public forum. But it's my belief that I show my truths to the world, then they can never been used against me. My honesty is my armor. And when I have a pen in my hand, in draws its' ink from the heart on my sleeve I guess, lol. But anyways, enough of my rambling here. I'll let you all get to the poem now. And as always, feel free to the leave your thoughts, opinions, and/or constructive criticisms in the comment section below. Thank you all so very much for reading this. It means more than any of you will ever know.

"A Thinking Man's Fool"
2013

There are days I sleep too much
But those are days I need my rest
And there are days I feel the rush
Of a heart that beats inside my chest
And there are days I'll call your name
But then some days I'll send a text
And there are days when I'm ashamed
Of finding out what I'll do next
But these mistakes I make
Prove perfection is a myth
'Cause I'll be Jedi on some days
And on others you'll paint me Sith
But dear that doesn't mean
That I lack humility
No, to me it only means
That we can share a laugh at silly me
'Cause I'll wear the darkest shades
So you can't see my eyes
When I'm staring at your parts
In a way that you'd despise
And I'll wear my heart upon a sleeve
As if instructed by the rules
'Cause it's too hard to play it cool
When this thinking man is such a fool
There are days the sky is blue
And there are days I see only black
Then other days I'm seeing red
And patience's the virtue that I lack
But there are days when I'm laid bare
And the universe brings only pain
And days when thunderstorms can't compare
To the hurricanes inside my brain
Oh, these mistakes I make
Prove perfection is a myth
'Cause I'll be Jedi on some days
And on others you'll paint me Sith
But dear that doesn't mean
That I lack humility
No, to me it only means
That we can share a laugh at silly me
'Cause I'll wear the largest shirts
To try and hide my flaws
And then I'll often read too much
Inside each sentence paused
But I wear my heart upon a sleeve
As if instructed by the rules
'Cause it's too hard to play it cool
When this thinking man is such a fool
There are days when I think too much
And yes this is one of them
And it's become a harder fact to face
It's why my outlook's so damn grim
But I'm not always gloom and doom
No, I have my better days
Like the times that you're inside my room
And you had me count the ways
That I could undress the sacred parts
Seen from behind my darkened shades
While hoping when I'd lift my shirt
Your attraction wouldn't fade
'Cause you can lead a horse to water
But that won't make it drink
And you could tell me that you love me
But my mind will always think
That you're just being nice
Until I give you what you want
And then I'll have to watch you leave
Saying "goodbye" as a taunt
And you'd rip that heart off its' sleeve
Probably place it in your purse
Acting like it's a lovely parting gift
And a thinking man's foolish curse
But these mistakes I make
Prove perfection is a myth
'Cause I'll be Jedi on some days
And on others you'll paint me Sith
But dear that doesn't mean
That I lack humility
No, to me it only means
That we can share a laugh at silly me
'Cause I'll wear the largest shirts
To try and hide my flaws
And then I'll often read too much
Inside each sentence paused
But I wear my heart upon a sleeve
As if instructed by the rules
'Cause it's too hard to play it cool
When this thinking man is such a fool
Love, won't you say a word to me
That'll make me feel alright
Or will this perception truly be
Mine for a long and endless night
'Cause I'd rather see a day
When someone took my fears away
And the monsters in my head
Were either silent for left for dead
And I believe your kiss is powerful
But I haven't felt it heal
The shattered image behind the eyes
That only I can recognize
And this mirror is not to blame
I've slowly learned that fact
It's just years and years of loneliness
Have left me here devoid of tact
But these mistakes I make
Prove perfection is a myth
'Cause I'll be Jedi on some days
And on others you'll paint me Sith
But dear that doesn't mean
That I lack humility
No, to me it only means
That we can share a laugh at silly me
'Cause I'll wear the darkest shades
So you can't see my eyes
When I'm staring at your parts
In a way that you'd despise
And I'll wear my heart upon a sleeve
As if instructed by the rules
'Cause it's too hard to play it cool
When this thinking man is such a fool
And there are times truth be told
Where you will think me cold
But dear, please know that this is true
This thinking man is a fool,
But he'd rather be a fool for you...