A Foreboding Sense Of Love

With a darkness overwhelming,
I believe my world's adrift
But then she revealed herself to me
As if she was a living, breathing gift
That was wrapped in beauty
And held together with some grace
Complete with perfect imperfections
Radiating brightly from her space
With a smile that would rival suns
And lips that drew ire from the clouds
She means so very many things
That I would hesitate to say aloud
But there is a heaviness with my chest
And a paralyzing kind of fear
That I have failed to rise above
It's as if there's some emotions crawling in
And I feel this foreboding sense of love
"But how can this be," I ask
As if there were answers to be found
Knowing full and well that I could scream
But I would fail to make a sound
Because she left me speechless
Ever since she slyly stole a kiss
And placed her anchors in my bones
Pulling me ever closer to the bliss
That I have labeled highly sought for years
But never came close enough to me
So gravity failed to hold it near
And my happiness never grew to be
But here in the present tense
I am left confused,
With a mind that's racing
And nothing making sense
My heart feels so heavy
That it hurts to even breathe
Is the water slipping through my hands
Am I expected to believe
That I could be given such a gift
Only to have it taken back
Without a hint much less my consent
Leaving me unable to prevent
Is this the fate of all non-believers
For failing to repent
But what if angels hide their horns
The way that roses hide their thorns
And what if everything we'll ever do
Was planned before we're born
And what if devils never dance
Beneath the palest of the moons
And what if ancient kings never hid
Precious treasures in their tombs
What if those who kneel in prayer
Make requests from time to time
And what if one who rambled as much as me
Became some sort of pantomime
All while thinking what if human is divine
And what if the universe conspired
All to help and make her mine
So she can be the Magdalena to my Christ
Should I be worth her sacrifice
And if loving her was wrong
I would gladly pay the eternal price
With torture through the days
And longer nights bathed in flame
But I would gladly give my life
To make sure her fate was not the same
So if there be a true king of kings
Tell his majesty that I and I alone
Will shoulder all the blame
So please don't tear her from my reach
All to allow her to remain
Within the kind of alabaster jar
That would leave her subjected to the shame
Of maintaining a facade
All for the sake of righteousness
While knowing that her heart, mind, and soul
Would recommend her fighting this
And without a bit of confirmation
I have caused something beautiful to occur
For I have re-lit the Greek fire deep within her
And it drew the most poetic moth there ever were
But this foreboding sense of love was proven true
So what is this proudest fool to do
When I'm falling for the one I'm not supposed to have
But I'm incomplete without her
Like anything of importance
Missing its' other, better half
So I can try to ignore the very sight
That has only brought me joy
Or I could pretend I'm not close enough to feel her
When I'm making an honest living
By driving for the place that I'm employed
And I could try to make believe
Hell, I could even try to run
But see, her metaphoric anchors
Still reside within my bones
And they have a magnetic sort of pull
So I think it's time that I admit
That yes, there is a pain within my chest
From a heart that's heavy
And truly hard to bare
But that's only because it's the first time,
In who knows how long,
That this beating heart of mine,
Is finally,
And truly feeling full.
And it's all because of her.
My walking dream that's come to life.
Who knows that I wish to be beneath her,
Just to make her come tonight.
But I fear she knows of the darkness deep within
That I fight to hold at bay
In fear that it would consume the spark
That she is trying to help to stay
But here where the nightingales sing
Lies a tender, tender heart
Displayed upon a sleeve for many years
And so the healing failed to start
But now that she has arrived
In a most unexpected of the ways
I feel the honesty rising up inside my throat
Wanting to confess to this wretched world
About how she has left me so amazed
But there is a part of me that wonders
Just what I mean to her
And I wish I could see inside her mind
And behold the wonders there to find
To see in my face is ever displayed upon the walls
Like art from the renaissance
Or if a certain part of me has become a need
That's left her unsatisfied with wants
But am I even making sense?
Have I rambled on again?
Have I finally stopped my years of losing?
Is she the prize I've always sought to win?
I think that she is.
But I can feel that heaviness coming back,
My chest is straining still to bare the weight
All I can know for certain,
Is that to have her all to myself,
Even if it's only for one night
Would convince me that this universe of ours
Was on a mission just to prove,
That thirty years would be truly worth the wait.