At The Mercy Of A Gift

"At The Mercy Of A Gift"
2012

Seems I'm damned if I do and if I don't
But my resolve's remaining strong
I could apologize but I won't
It's not my fault I get taken wrong
I just bleed my ink unto a page
Hoping to relieve my pain
Some may revere me as a sage
But on days like this it's all in vain
'Cause the feeling comes and then it goes
What I will write, nobody knows
I'm at the mercy of a gift
And I never knew I'd cause a rift
Between myself and those who read
My every line and seem to need
Loyalty in subjects chose
No matter if it's rhyme or prose
Now I fight the urge to bite my tongue
'Cause I hear it hurts too much
And my mouth isn't fond of blood
So I won't allow my teeth to touch
I'd rather speak with open mind
Or merely write with sharp intent
But I sometimes have to find
Just where my inspiration went
'Cause the feeling comes and then it goes
What I will write, nobody knows
I'm at the mercy of a gift
And I never knew I'd cause a rift
Between myself and those who read
My every line and seem to need
Loyalty in subjects chose
No matter if it's rhyme or prose
So what would you have me do
As I sit with pen in hand
Should I paint my point of view
And hope you'll understand
Or should I sit in fear
Thinking you won't like the way
I chose to make you hear
The things I'd like to say
'Cause I'd rather feel your hated for
Expressing what's within
Than to sit and leave you bored
In the quiet's grip again
So please make up your mind
If you'd like to censor me
But you better not complain
When you don't get a sense of me
'Cause you'll have no one else to blame
When you can't figure out
The depths of how I feel
Or the heights I'm all about
'Cause then you'll be mad at me
And I'll come off that pedestal
Pulled down by gravity
And that card you chose to pull
From underneath your sleeve
To rest upon the face
Of this tired table here
Upon which I will rest my case
'Cause the feeling comes and then it goes
What I will write, nobody knows
I'm at the mercy of a gift
And I never knew I'd cause a rift
Between myself and those who read
My every line and seem to need
Loyalty in subjects chose
No matter if it's rhyme or prose
And I make lines rhyme at the end
But there's a reason for it friend
Call the thing a need if you must
But it's a compulsion I can trust
To not destroy my life
And exercise each shred of strife
Until the pain is all but gone
I'll fill the page, and carry on
'Cause the feeling came and then it went
Proving all the wasted time we've spent
Could be put to better use
If we just turned each other loose
And forget the ones who read
And say fuck their little need
To criticize my rhyme or prose
'Cause they deserve the thorns
If they want to look past the rose...