The Ones That I Love

"The Ones That I Love"
2010

I've heard every cliche there is to hear.
And I'm neck deep in advice.
But I still haven't heard the truth.
I've heard the "good news" according to people I haven't met.
I've heard that you won't give me more than I can handle.
But I still haven't heard the truth.
There are days when I doubt that you exist.
And there days when I wish that I did not exist.
But those thoughts never change a thing.
There are days when I believe this world deserves to end.
And there are days when I believe this world can be saved.
But those thoughts never change a thing.
I feel the bitterness rise like vomit in my throat.
And I feel the sharp pain of disappointment stab my fleeting hope.
But you'd be amazed at what a human can get used to.
I can hear their insults ringing like choirs in my ears.
And I can hear their misguided view of others drown out their smarter thoughts.
Yet you'd be amazed at what a human can get used to.
I was told that I used to smile a lot more many years ago.
And I was told that I need to re-learn how to go out and have good time.
But the truth in those statements still mean nothing to me.
I was told that I'll never find love when I'm this filled with rage.
And I was told that my appearance is not as ugly as I believe it to be.
But the truth is, those statements still mean nothing to me.
I'd rather stay numb than to feel how I felt
Than to watch the people I love succumb to the pain that they're dealt.
And as you sit on your cloud
I hope they choke on their praise
That they would whisper aloud
So you could brighten their days
But don't forgive me if I
Hate the way that you act
As the ones that I love
Are beginning to crack
Beneath the weight of the shit
You keep putting them through
As if it's some fucking test
To make us all turn to you
I'm not sorry if this
Seems too far out of line
I'll just thank you for listening
And for wasting my time...