These Are But Thoughts

"These Are But Thoughts"
2011

These are but thoughts, gnawing at my mind.
Sightly piercing through my days.
And tunneling through my nights.
Ideas more contagious than a virus.
And visions more revered than a portrait.
It is a want and a need, simultaneously.
To be simply, greater than I am.
It takes some courage to say aloud.
For you first must acknowledge imperfections.
And be more intimate with your flaws than your qualities.
Because you know that when things can be improved,
a day's work is never done.
And then, sadly, life is no longer infinite.
The days are not long enough.
And the nights are far too dark to see through.
But when the sun bleeds into the blue,
and seeps its' way into your eyes, you know then,
that another opportunity to improve shines before you.
Glowing like a true virgin, on her wedding night.
Or a messiah's afternoon walk on the surface of a lake.
The impossible can be made into flesh.
And for all my thinking, for all my rambling, I am a coward.
Too afraid to step forward. Too timid to endure the pain.
The pain that comes from weakness leaving the body.
For progress is birthed only by sacrifice.
Greatness can only be reached by shedding mediocrity.
And doubt is the slippery slope upon which one can find stagnation.
But to escape this downward free fall, one must slay doubt.
One must use the fire that is feeling fearless, to forge one's will into steel.
Reflecting a tiger's eyes, and sharp as Excalibur of lore.
Jumping high into the blue, and plunging this metaphoric weapon,
into the negative thoughts plaguing your determination.
This is what I must do. This is what we all must do.
For all of the talk of how this world will end.
For each fatalistic religion hoping to show the world their book was right.
It feels like I am running out of time.
Like the bottom of the hourglass is getting as heavy as I have been,
for most of my young life.
But as I've said before, these are but thoughts.
Gnawing at my mind.
Sightly piercing through my days.
And tunneling through my nights.
And after years of showing the world my faults.
And having them be witness to my falls.
Maybe, just maybe it's time.
For more than my imagination to start taking flight.
But is it too late for me?