A Much Deserved Erosion

This poem is a bit of an interesting one. It's inspiration came from a very angry and bitter place. Throughout my life, I honestly haven't had many relationships worth writing about. Most of my interaction with women has involved me developing feelings for someone, and 99.9999999% of the time, those feelings are not reciprocated. So it always leaves these emotions unrequited and creates a climate where I'm almost always able to write. And in this particular poem, I use the running metaphor of a beach to describe a situation I see all the time. A situation, which is basically, a good woman turning down a guy who will actually care for her, and turning to the "bad boy/challenging" kind of guy, who ends up crushing her emotionally. But as I said, this poem being angry, it's title best describes what I feel that this "beach" deserves.

"A Much Deserved Erosion"
2010

While walking through a baron lot
I see a lonely beach is drawing near
And I wondered to myself aloud,
"How on Earth did I end up here?"
And as I continued walking on
At a pace I know too well
There was a sight that I took in
That left me with this tale to tell
The selfish waves were crashing down
On a gorgeous, masochistic shore
And I was in disbelief at the foolish way
It came crawling back for more
While disregarding every made mistake
And being more forgiving than a priest
Thinking that the waves would love it most
But this shore, she meant the least
And I couldn't help but stare and laugh
Since I once wished to be the wave
That moved back and forth atop this shore
With a love that would last beyond the grave
But I called out to this pile of worthless sand
And said, "you see, I told you so.
This walked-on-doormat-kind-of-life
Is the only thing you'll ever know
While losing more of what makes you whole
To waves so majestic in their sight
Knowing that they'll only crash and leave
And yet will never stay the night
Still you open up your world to them
And welcome the fleeting bliss
Fighting to hold the water in your hands
But there's a point you always miss
Our imaginations are the fertile grounds
Where we'll find immortality
Or are they hints of what could be
Wrapped tightly in our past reality
And we know your past looks the way
Your present surely does
Because your spiral's headed down
In the direction it always was
For doing things the same
And expecting the results to change
Is at most the word insane
And at the least a little strange
But insanity fits you like a glove
Or like your clothes that find the floor
After the next tide came rolling in
Leaving a much deserved erosion for the shore
And as they take another part of you
I shake my head and smile
Knowing I did everything I could
To rebuild the inch you gave, when they took a mile
But you're too blind to see
Or far too dumb to care
And I'll still be here on solid ground
As your mirror shows there's nothing there
And what once occupied that space
Is now worthless to us all
So you can watch me vanish in the wind
And know that I won't be there when you call....