Confessions Trapped In Breath

This is a poem that I could point to, if someone were to ask me what I write about. I feel a bit of pride when I re-read this poem from time to time, because it is just a brutally honest piece about myself. I am always trying to examine myself and first acknowledge the things I don't like. While kind of opining to the world, rhetorically wondering how I can change them. And this poem is an example of that desire. And given the subject matter, I think the title is certainly apropos. Oh, there's a line in the poem that makes a small reference to some of the poems I posted earlier today. Those are little things I do to amuse myself, and to hopefully, amuse the few of you who made read these things, lol.

"Confessions Trapped In Breath"
2010


Today is just another day
That I've been blessed to see
But it's living out each one
That's made this mess of me
But since I'm awake again
Beneath an avalance of stress
I feel there are so many things
That I should confess
Like how there is a tidal wave
Of tears behind my eyes
And if I said the reason why
I'd be adding to my lies
Because the reason that I'd reveal
Has escaped my reach again
So fallacies are all I can muster up
When digging deep within
And this skin I'm sitting in
Is withering and cold
But it would bloom again someday
Is what I'm often told
They say the only thing it needs
Is tender, loving care
But after searching under lonely rocks
What I seek is never there
And to say that I'm surprised
Is far from accurate
'Cause when you look the way I do
It's the best you'll ever get
But at least the blessed day will come
When I will find some peace
Maybe then the waves that we've discussed
Will finally start to cease
But I confess that I daily feel
The waves behind my eyes
And if I said the reason why
I'd be adding to my lies
Because the reason that I'd reveal
Has escaped my reach again
So fallacies are all I can muster up
When digging deep within
For fallacies digest the best
When they're offered to the world
And they'll then become the truth
When their feathered wings unfurl
And they are carried by the wind
Like confessions trapped in breath
Until the breeze feels its' interest wane
And the lies plummet to their death
Because my confessions are best unheard
For they depress the ones who hear
That this world is just turning cell
With unseen bars that keep us here
In the fettered states we lie
Or at least that's the way it's seen
When looking through these eyes of mine
That this life was just a dream
But it's more like a nightmare friend
That has been left upon repeat
And has morphed into some created beast
That I must rise up to defeat
But alas this confession's spun
Far beyond my mere control
So until my eternal sleep has begun
I think it best to try and save my soul
So I will leave these confessions
As the muted burdens I will keep
While I wish what's best for you
And try to find some solace as I sleep...